Love sick

I'm at work, I should probably not advertise that I'm writing this at work but my employer seriously doesn't mind as long as I stay awake and have all of my other work done. I do I do have all my other work completed. I'm actually ahead in my duties.

It's been two weeks. I don't like relationships, I find them to be confusing. I'm trying to focus on finding a new job. If anyone is hiring I'm seeking employment. I am trying to focus on my upcoming trip to Atlanta. I leave on September 11 and return on the 13th. I hope that my flight is safe. I'm nervous to fly on that day. I'm sure it unsettles most people.

I don't know where I'll be in ten years and that scares me. However I do know where I want to be. I've been trying to focus on my nonprofit and let the rest play out. I like school. I'm a nerd. This post is stream of conscious. I'm still a vegetarian. I don't know what I'm gonna give up next month... it's ten so I'm gonna go home.

Night.

Hurrilame Irene and other news to date.

So, I'm gonna lay it out straight for you dear reader there have been several things that have happened since I've last updated.

The good:
School started again - I love school, I'm a big nerd and believe that a good education is a vital part to a full life.
My softball league started and my team won a game, partly thanks to my amazing catching abilities and vicious banter (mostly because my team rocked).
I still have a job - this is good news. There are lots and lots and lots of people without one.
I am single - which means that I can date whomever I want, whenever I want, however I want. I also get to do the single ladies dance, I think I can rock my hips and shake my hands better than Beyonce (others can feel free to disagree).
I have really amazing friends.
I am going to Atlanta in less than a week.

The Bad:
School is already starting to overwhelm me.
Working with highly behavioral and sometimes violent special needs students is challenging. Not intellectually challenging, but physical and stressful. Not always, when my kids are good they are the best kids on the planet. When they are not good, I sometimes get scared. I think it helps to admit that I'm not perfect and that I do get scared. I think it will eventually help me to recognize how to get over this looming fear.
I have to get new glasses cause one of my kids broke them (see above).
I sometimes feel alone. The single ladies dance is only fun by yourself for so long, eventually I don't want to be a single lady.
I don't have very many friends in Boston and I've now officially been here for 365 days. That is sad.
Going to Atlanta costs money, and I feel poor. However, I am not actually poor, I can feed myself, I can clothe myself, and I have a sweet apartment with awesome roommates.

In reality, I have no reason to complain. Still sometimes it just feels good to complain, and to cry and to want better for myself.

In other news, I've been thinking a lot about my nonprofit as of late. I am in the process of redesigning the logo, which seems like a futile task cause if I ever gather a board and get this thing off the ground, it's going to be redone again. My penguin may never get approved, but I like it. In reality the logo doesn't matter as much as the mission and I feel like I have a lot of hurdles to climb. It seriously feels like someone stacked Mt. Kilaminjaro, Mt. Everest, Mt. Washington, and Sugarloaf Mountain, and said "hey you should try and climb this beast" and I said, "Absolutely". I'm still gathering supplies for the journey. There are a lot of supplies you need to climb a mountain, but when you're gonna climb four mountains stacked on top of each other, you might as well just hire a jet plane or a helicopter. I guess I said screw the helicopter I'm gonna do it the hard way. So I'm here you know gathering supplies, and supplies get expensive. I've also come to realize that you shouldn't climb a mountain by yourself, so you know I'm trying to convince friends that they want to climb four mountains with me. I still haven't found anyone to take the bait. So I guess this is me asking the internet if anyone is interested in creating a nonprofit determined to promote creative education techniques for teachers and provide interactive yet educational performances to students. I kind of prefer to help American children but if people from other countries are interested in my idea and the prospect of climbing* four  mountains stacked on top of each other sounds fun to you.

If you want to learn more shoot me an email at sara@sarapens.com and I'll let you know what I've got.

Of course I don't mean literal mountains, figurative mountains will do. Mountains sounds more dramatic than jumping hurdles, there are lots of hurdles to jump. The idea though, the idea is solid.

Well I look forward to my upcoming trip to Atlanta, possibly finding a new job, finding a second job, making friends, going to school, and being a single lady.

Also in case anyone is wondering, Jeremiah is still living.

Until next time,
     Sarapens

I also realized that I titled this post Hurrilame Irene and never mentioned it, that was about as much impact as the storm had on Boston. However it was fun. 

Summer Adventures continued

Here are some things:

I have completed many of the things on my summer bucket list. I raised one tadpole into a frog. And in spite of me wanting to give a gender specific name, I  named my frog Jeremiah (it's a girl). The other tadpole died :(. I went camping by myself, but it was fun. I met my brothers wife. She seems cool. I am still working and the semester is about to start. I moved to a new apartment. It was a last minute thing. I am happy with the move but since graduating high school, I have still not managed to live in a place for longer than a year. I guess I don't understand stability. I saw many of my AmeriCorps friends and it was nice catching up, I still need to make my way down to Maryland. I haven't eaten meat since June 27th and my stomach pain has decreased tremendously. I also found out I may not have had to lose my gall bladder. I'm considering owning fish. I'm still single and available, although not necessarily looking anymore. I have a lot in store for me these next few months as I apply to new programs and positions. I am hoping to get something cool. I also joined a softball team but the first two games were rained out. I think that's it for now.

Sara

Summer Adventures

So it's been a while since I've posted.  Here are five things that have happened since I've last wrote:

1. I had an organ removed (my gallbladder for those of us who weren't paying attention).
2. I bought a bike. I ride it to work on days it doesn't rain and other places too. I took it into Boston last week, this week I'm riding to a concert.
3. I made straight A's (which isn't too difficult considering I only take two classes a semester but it is grad school and I'm still proud of myself.
4. I have seen ever member of my team post AmeriCorps sans my TL (for obvious reasons). In being able to see them all I went on an epic adventure from Boston to New Jersey, to NYC, to Philly, back to NJ, and then back to Boston.
5. I have decided to give up Facebook for the month of June. This has led to me wanting to finish the year with a new personal challenge each month. Next month I'm going to attempt to not consume meat. I don't know what I'll do after that, whatever I fancy I guess. I'm open to taking suggestions.


Here are three things that I've decided I'm going to do:
1. I'm going to Clambake on Thursday. It's a street/indoor show with 8 bands. It's sponsored by WFNX and I've been hearing about it since before my gallbladder removal. I'm stoked. I'm riding my bike down to House of Blues. I'm going by myself but it should be a good time anyway.
2. I'm going to Atlanta to visit my family and see a Braves game. I've already bought the ticktes. I'll be there Sunday 9/11 through Tuesday 9/13
3. I'm going to raise tadpoles into frogs. I have the tadpoles and one of them has already sprouted legs. The other one is lagging behind a bit. I can't name them until they have arms. Cause I'd prefer to give them gender specific names. I'm also kind of afraid one won't make it through metamorphosis and I'll be quite sad.
4. I'm going to complete everything on my summer bucket list. I made a summer bucket list, I stole the idea from a friend who made a Boston bucket list with her roommates. (It is my belief that most solid ideas are stolen from other people).
5. I'm going to go camping this summer. I haven't quite figured out the details on this one. It may end up that I go up to a campsite and do it all by myself. Who knows, I'm hoping I can convince some friends to come with me.


So I think that's about as much of an update as I can offer right now. But life is alright. Bumpy, sure but definitely alright.

Promotions

I applied for a promotion at my job. I was offered the position and have now accepted it. So that's cool. I go back and forth every day about what I'm doing here. For awhile, I was kind of over it. The kids were challenging me on a daily basis, I was frustrated with school, my gall bladder had developed a stone and I was dealing with some serious pain and I had a tug in my heart string to move back to the great state of Georgia. Yup that's right I admit it, I was ready to move back to the south and sew my oats (or whatever the saying is). Now not so much, things got better. The kids make me smile more, I've learned to live with the constant pain and I got a handle on school. However, I still miss Georgia. I find this weird as I had only lived there for a few months, if that. I think perhaps I'm missing my family. I miss having friends closer to me.

Often times I feel alone up here. That kinda sucks. I'm making friends but nowhere near the speed I was making them last year. I haven't volunteered since the end of July. Granted I work for a nonprofit organization. I miss the work I did last year. I miss traveling the country with 9 other people. I'm supposed to meet up with some of those wonderful people in the next couple of months and for that I am excited.

Life is what it is right now. I can't say more I can't say less. Perhaps, I should invest in a more private avenue to share my thoughts.

This post is kinda lame, but promotions are cool and I still love Boston. I also appreciate the friends I've made since I've moved up to the great state of Massachusetts.


That is all
   Sara

Save AmeriCorps

The Corporation for National and Community Service is in jeopardy. Congress is considering cutting funding for this program which would eliminate several programs nationwide, it would mean job cuts, it could mean that certain nonprofits will fail due to the lack of help that they were previously receiving. At the end of this post I have provided several links so you can better inform yourself about what's going on. But here is a link to sign the petition to Save AmeriCorps: http://www.change.org/petitions/save-americorps

AmeriCorps is part of the Corporation for National and Community Service. Corps members give up a year of their life to help people in need. There are several organizations that stem from the Corporation for National and Community Service including: SeniorCorps, Learn and Serve, and AmeriCorps. These programs help millions of people across the country. They provide people and resources to help lead volunteers, institute new programs, maintain current programs and sometimes even provide disaster relief. While I personally am not a fan of large government programs, the Corporation for National and Community Service provided me a valuable learning experience that I will take with me for the rest of my life. It changed me for the better as it has thousands of others who have been through one of the programs. I wish I could give proper statistics and numbers for how this organization has helped our nation to be better, stronger and smarter. Instead all I can do is tell you about my experience in the program I served.

Over my ten months as a corps member for AmeriCorps' National Civilian Community Corps (NCCC). I documented much of the work I did in this blog. I worked with several nonprofit organizations, helped with flood relief resulting from the Nashville Tennessee Flood of 2010. I helped rebuild houses and better school systems in New Orleans; a city still recovering from the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, and now from the Oil Spill. I tutored failing kids in California, I built houses for migrant farm workers, who would otherwise be living in squalor.  I even got to build playgrounds with KaBOOM! In ten months, I feel that I accomplished more than most people do in perhaps a lifetime.

Before I joined AmeriCorps, I had negative feelings about America and the state it was in, but had no idea of how to make changes. I didn't know what I could do to make a difference. I applied to the organization for several reasons, but probably the most compelling reason for me was I didn't have a job, but I wasn't ready for Grad school or the working world. I was able to spend 10 months doing community service work instead. I was able to learn new skills that I've been able to take with me. I learned how to be a better team player, a better leader, and the value of communication and flexibility. All skills most people need to be successful in the working world. Sure I could have gained these skills anywhere, but I was able to do it faster and possibly better in NCCC.

People who are in favor of cutting the program usually have this to say:
"The Corporation for National and Community Service was started by democrats, and we all know that they just want to frivolously spend government money on things that don't matter."
"AmeriCorps is a waste of money, it costs millions of tax payers money and what is there to show for it?"

This is what I have to say.

First and foremost, what many people don't know is that the organization has bipartisan support. George W. Bush signed the bill that allowed for people who completed the program received more money, John McCain voted for it. It's not just a democratic organization for bleeding hearted liberals. In my experience, I met all kinds of people in the program. I am a libertarian, I don't like big governments, I didn't vote for Obama in 2008. I certainly didn't consider myself to be apart of "Obama's Youth" or whatever Rush Limbaugh want's to call the program. It's not a brain washing organization. I still feel the same way about Obama, as I did before I joined the program. I still feel the same way about our country and how it should be run as I did before. I do have a little bit more pride for this country. I do feel that we as a people need to step up and work together to make it a better place.  I don't think that's a bad thing. I don't think that it's horrible that in 2009, I would've done whatever it took to get out of this country, and in 2011, I think we as a people should do whatever it takes (in a positive way) to make this country a better place. That is a positive paradigm shift, if I've ever heard of one.
My AmeriCorps NCCC class was composed of Democrats, Republicans, and Independents. We had Christians, Muslims, Jews, and Athiests/Agnostics. We had people who came from rich backgrounds and those who grew up in less than desirable means. People from all across the country came together for 10 months to make a difference. My point being, it's not a democrat or republican thing, it's a people thing. The program helps people, not just bleeding heart liberals.

Now about the money. CNCS is expensive. I won't argue that. Making this country a better place, helping people, isn't free. It can't be. Yet CNCS isn't taking the millions of dollars it receives and paying for Presidents of failing banks to take vacations or fly around on private jets. Instead it's taking the money and using it to help children who are failing, to help cities who were impacted by national disasters, to help people get back on their feet.

Here is how AmeriCorps NCCC spends some of it's money to make that happen:
Corps members are given a modest living allowance (less than $150 every two weeks). To work over 40 hours a week. Not at a desk job, no I was covered head to toe in dirt, pulling out insulation, I was covered in sweat putting up drywall in New Orleans in the summer time. I built houses in the desert. It was hot, and I worked hard. One week we spent hours raking leaves in a public park because the park couldn't afford to do it. We helped make that park beautiful. We helped people get back into their homes after they experienced disaster. We helped people in need for 40+ hours a week. And we were paid less than $2 an hour to do it. Correction, not paid it's a living allowance. But can anyone really expect people to give up 10 months of their life completing over 1600 hours of service for nothing? Personally, 1.88 an hour isn't enough for some of the work I did last year. Yet, I did it anyway.

Now we aren't expected to live off of less than 150 every two weeks. We are also given a modest food budget. $4.50 per person per day. Yep try feeding 10 people on $45 a day. It's tricky and I ate more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the last year than I ever wanted to.

We are also given a place to sleep. Now don't get confused. Some of my friends lived in tents, I lived in a variety of living situations. I lived in a dorm. I lived in a 4 bedroom apartment with 9 other people. The room was large enough to fit two beds and a cot. I lived in volunteer housing in New Orleans, I showered in a trailer, I ate in a large cafeteria, and I slept in a class room with 20 other people. I was not put up in a 5 star hotel. During training I slept in a cabin with no heat in Mendocino in October. It was freezing.


I got to do a lot of really cool things, but it wasn't a vacation. It was a year off of sitting around. I worked and I worked hard, and so did my friends.  I feel better knowing I made a difference. And here's the thing, I didn't leave AmeriCorps to go work some cushy job. No, I decided during the program that I wanted to dedicate my life to helping others. I want to work for nonprofits. I want to continue to make a difference. Most of my friends are doing the same thing. You can't spend 10 months of your life and go back to the way things were before. This program made me more aware of my surroundings, of what people go through when they don't have help. It made me want to actively participate in helping others. I don't think it's a bad thing.

CNCS is one of the few government funded programs that I actually believe in. It's better than welfare. It's better than the government bail outs. Not only does this organization help people in need, it helps to train the next generation of leaders. It teaches young people how to do better, work harder, and work together to make a difference.
 

Here are some links if you want to learn more:
Sign the Petition to Save AmeriCorps
http://www.change.org/petitions/save-americorps

The Corporation for National and Community Service
http://www.nationalservice.gov/

AmeriCorps
http://www.americorps.gov/

United Way's Stance
http://www.uwpiedmont.org/advocacy.php

An Article about the BiPartisan nature of AmeriCorps
http://blogs.wsj.com/capitaljournal/2009/03/27/the-real-story-of-how-americorps-became-bipartisan/



The video one of my teammates made for our time in Mecca, CA.

You can also read about my previous adventures in NCCC on this blog.




This post is strictly my opinion and is not the views of CNCS, AmeriCorps or any other program I mentioned. I can't speak for them, I can only speak for myself and the good I saw in my 10 months of service

At a loss for words...

I've been kind of off the map, well slightly off the map. Certainly off the map for me.

This is due to a few factors:


1st. I was sick, went to the hospital with a 104.1 degree fever. I got carted around on a wheely bed (gourney? who cares wheely bed sounds cooler) and taken to different rooms for testing. Mostly I laid in bed waiting for the doctors to figure out what was up. I learned a few things, one I have a gall stone and will eventually have to get my whole gall bladder removed. I'm not excited about losing a body part. Even if I still don't quite understand its purpose. Something about bile. I dunno. I don't want to just toss it out like I'm not appreciative of it's efforts in my 25 years of life. It's done some good work I'm sure. I don't just want to toss it away like a used towel. Finding a surgeon is taking more time than it should. Mostly due to the fact that I'm not comfortable removing one of my organs.

2nd. The semester has started and I have school work. I should be constantly reading but I haven't been. I have been reading and doing my work, I'm too much of a nerd not to. But I've been doing it last minute thus feeling over whelmed.

3rd. Increased amounts of sleeping, for whatever reason I'm having trouble sleeping. So I spend most of the night waking up a bunch and then the sun rises and then I go back to sleep. I think I spend more time trying to sleep than I do actually sleeping. Either way I've been having really vivid dreams. So vivid that I'm not sure if I'm asleep or awake. It's weird. So I guess I've been sleeping but not very well and for too long.

4th. Apathy... I've felt an overwhelming since of apathy ever since I got back from my conference in Orlando. The conference was underwhelming. I think my apathy stems from the fact that I came back feeling like people in my chosen field don't care. So why should I care. I know why I should care I just am having trouble caring. I think that might be because of the weather.

5th. I don't have a 5th but I like things in 5's and 0's. It's kind of a weird trait but everyone has their quirks.