I fell off the map again.

I'm really good at falling off the map. I've been doing it more regularly as of late. It feels good to avoid social networking sites and focus on other things, but it usually means that I'm the last one to know things. Here is what's been happening over the last few months

January - I got really sick but managed to make it to Geek Bowl (in Austin, Tx) and I painted a wicked cool 6ft by 3ft banner. I'll have to upload a picture later.

February - I actually had a valentine. That was really cool and special. February vacation consisted of me hanging out. I got the boot from one of my pub quiz venues, but picked up another one rather quickly. I still really like hosting pub quizzes. I went skiing.

March - I'm writing a grant, for class, but am secretly (well not so secretly) hoping I can submit it. I'm skeptical about it's success but it's cool. I started going to meditation regularly. It's supposed to help me focus, although I'm skeptical as the results so far seem to have surged this internal war. I find myself to be spiritually confused right now. I feel really lonely again. I sometimes fantasize about going back to Georgia, not because I had a lot of friends there but because at least I had family and it wasn't Florida. I keep pissing off my roommates, but not intentionally. I feel really isolated even though I'm probably around people more often now than I was before. I think it's just more apparent how distant I am from other people.


I've read several books already this year, these are outside of class. That's good for me. I'm almost finished with like the 2nd or 3rd book. I should do a book count or something.

 I wasn't intending for this to be some kind of downer piece. I have a lot of really awesome things going on for me. Like Pub Quizzes, hanging out with the Shambhala kids from meditation, the guy I'm seeing. (I don't really want to write much about that though, because I'm superstitious). But there is something missing... and I can't place my finger on it...

I have homework to do so I'm gonna go do that. 

Sara

2011 a Year in Review

This year wasn't particularly easier. I lost my gall bladder. I've gotten really sick several times. I had some pretty big blow outs with people that were really close to me. I went from working 40 hours a week, to anywhere  between 48 and 62 (mostly averaging 54). I work four jobs (my taxes this year are gonna be a mess, not because of anything illegal, but because of all the jobs). I stopped eating meat. I made a lot of mistakes this year.
It's weird, 2011 started out with a bang! It was crazy awesome, but then I got sick. And then sick again. But then things turned around for a while. My friend Allee came to visit. We went on a wacky adventure. My buddy Jay moved to town and we rode bikes. I acquired three bikes this year. (I'm not allowed to buy anymore bikes in 2012). I got a pet frog. She's still alive and she seems happy. I played league softball. I got really into pub quiz (playing and hosting). I met up with a bunch of friends, in NYC. I made it to Maine. I road my bike all over the city of Boston. I saw a Braves game in Turner field. I made new friends. I read a bunch of books. I stopped eating meat. I made a lot of good choices this year. And had a lot of crazy awesome adventures, e.g. riding bikes until 4 in the morning with Jay, or going to three concerts, or driving around the northeast with Allee, or going to Maine on a whim, or riding my bike all over Boston. (I know I mentioned the bike thing a lot but it's wicked cold and I can't wait for the weather to warm up). 

The good and the bad seemed to balance itself out in a nice neat way. (At least in the end it's nice and neat, in the midst of it all it it's a mess).


Before 2011 ended I read a book called The Happiness Project. The book was awesome it was about this ladies personal adventure to try and find more happiness in her life. She made a lot of really interesting points on happiness and I think it was a great way to end such a challenging year. There was something more specific that helped to end 2011 the right way. In any case, I look forward to the year ahead.

I'm excited to see what 2012 has in store for me.

Sara

Santa Clause is coming to town?

I don't have a chimney, and I'm pretty sure the fat man doesn't deliver to anyone over the age of 25. Fortunately, I'm finally at that place in my life where I don't feel like the world will end if I don't get that Super Nintendo. It's weird. Momma Pens is coming to town tomorrow. I'm stoked although I don't really know what to do for Christmas in Boston. But at least I can avoid Christmas in Florida. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like it will be a white Christmas. Last year there was a blizzard right before Christmas. This year, it's clear skies and no sign of the white fluffy stuff. Maybe, I'll get lucky and Santa will bring me snow for Christmas. (Although, I'm pretty sure my mom would rather he didn't).

Life is good. I feel like I'm getting better at recognizing when things are going well for me. Right now, things are going really well. I like my jobs, all four of them. I like my friends, new and old. I'm keeping busy. Like really busy, this is the first week in several months that I had 3 nights free. Even with all the extra free time, I still didn't get enough sleep, but I think sometimes it's okay to trade sleep for experience. I mean you only live once after all, and looking back ten years from now I'll be more interested in remembering the experiences I had as opposed to the times I've slept.

Plus I love having the opportunity to connect with other people and I definitely had that this week. This experience was timely as it reminded me of a few points that I think I sometimes lose sight of:

• No man is an island. Connecting with different people on any level is important.
• Sometimes, I can learn more about someone if I just ask questions. 
• Communication is essential, although can be very tricky. 
• It's really a wonderful feeling to let myself be happy and to focus on happiness as opposed to focusing on the things that make my unhappy.  
• Sometimes I remember things differently, and looking things up can change my opinion on things I thought were very true (or conversely, solidify my opinion).

It's weird to think it's almost Christmas. I'm looking forward to writing this years 2011 review post.

I want to say more about Christmas. I want to talk more about this holiday but to be honest, it doesn't have the same meaning for me as it used to. I'm not gonna lie, when I was a kid, Christmas was all about the presents. That fat man better eat my cookies and leave me everything on my list exactly. (This feeling has slowly started to fade). But I think it's interesting how entitled, I felt as a kid and sometimes feel now. I think I need to define what this holiday means to me. I think I need to remind myself of what is important. I know that I have labeled myself as Christian on this blog before, that hasn't really changed and I understand the belief that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus and celebrating him and stuff. And I think Jesus was a cool guy, who did a lot of awesome things for people. Even if you took out the things that are difficult to believe, e.g., he walked on water, brought Lazarus back from the dead, fed a whole town with a couple of fish and loaf of bread. Even if you took all of that out, the guy was willing to love people no one else would, and that is not something everyone can do. However, I never really bought into the Jesus was born in December thing because there is no factual evidence that this happened. Also, Jesus didn't really like all of the traditions of the church. Hence why there are a lot of Old Testament practices that are no longer followed. Further more, if you really look at Christmas it is an amalgamation of a lot of different holiday traditions. The Yule Log, the Christmas tree, the giving of gifts, the decorations, the Jolly fat guy, also the Jesus' birthday thing. I mean if you break it down Christmas is supposed to be about giving and stuff. Giving time of yourself to spend with the people you care about. Sometimes giving presents to others to show your appreciation, you know that whole experience of spending time with people you care about and enjoying that time together. I think this year, I want to focus more on the fact that I get to spend a few days with people I care about and never get to see anymore.

I'm certainly not perfect and I still have sense of selfishness around Christmas. I'm stoked that my dad gave me money for Christmas (I totally need it to pay for school). I'm excited to know that I'm probably gonna get to open some stuff on Christmas morning, new stuff is cool. But then I also think why do I care so much about stuff? I should care more about the people who gave me the stuff. Which is why I'm at a point where I want to reevaluate Christmas.  I'm so appreciative that some of the kids at my school gave me presents. It was really bizarre and so sweet to be on the receiving end of a gift from a child. It was such a surreal feeling. I also love that I get to spend time with my mom. I'm grateful for the break from 50-60 hour work weeks. Yet I still managed to work over break, but it could be worst. I'm happy about a lot of things right now but that whole not avoiding sleep to experience life does not apply to blog entries. And I keep getting distracted so I'm gonna go prepare for Christmas.

Anyway, I hope y'all have a happy, or merry or whatever you celebrate Holiday Season.

Sarapens

p.s. to my dad... I love you. Thanks for the things you do for me. It's cool to know that someone has always and will always think I'm special.

It's Almost Thanksgiving...

Here's what I'm thankful for:
I'm thankful for my new jobs. They make life more interesting.
I'm thankful for Geeks Who Drink: which is like a a hobby I get paid for. You can follow my weekly pub quiz recaps at http://www.geekswhodrink.com/373
I'm thankful for the kids I've worked with over the past year and what they've taught me. (lots and lots and lots of patience).
I'm Thankful for my family.
I'm Thankful for my brother, Joe, who picked me up from daycare in the little red wagon. And did a bunch of other things for me when I was a kid. And he gives pretty good insight now that I'm an adult.
I'm Thankful for his wife because she's new to the family and she already treats me like she's known me for years.
I'm thankful for my friends near and far even the ones I don't talk to anymore, because I know that they were there when I needed them and I am forever  appreciative of that.
I'm thankful for my mom's boyfriend because he's pretty funny and has been good to me over the years. Even though I'm probably not his all time favorite person.
I'm thankful for my dad, who even though he doesn't always know how to be there, I know that he has and will always love me and I know he's really proud of me and that means a ton.
I'm thankful for my mom who listens to me when I'm sad, and loves me no matter what mistakes I make, and has shown me tough love sometimes, and has been lenient on me others. And who always encourages me to do the miss piggy flip whenever I'm nervous or intimidated.


Anyway, I hope all of you have a happy Thanksgiving. I will be up here serving at Father Bills. It should be a fun adventure.

Sara

4 Jobs is one job too many.

This past week I have been inundated with work. I worked 8am to 10pm almost every night this week with the exception of Thursday. It's been nuts. However, I'm super happy with three of my jobs. I got my glasses broken again at work this week, so the fourth job (which is actually the first), is not my favorite right now. Anyway here is the break down of my new jobs.

Job 1: Kindergarten 1:1 aide. I get to work with kids. It's awesome, who wouldn't love this job?

Job 2: Extended day lead teacher, (of sorts). I work with kids on the spectrum and provide a quiet structure place to go before they embrace the insanity of extended day. Which isn't really insane at all it's just snack time that might be a little taxing. I play games, read books and ensure everyone is okay. The program is new so I get to be involved with the development of it. This is very cool. I like building programs, it's fun for me.

Job 3: Quizmaster for Geeks Who Drink. In November I will be hosting at my very own venue. I will be blogging weekly from there and of course post a link for y'all, so you can follow that blog too. (To my two, maybe three faithful readers and anyone who wants to join them in reading this). I'm pretty stoked about this gig. If you're looking for a pub quiz (or a trivia night) in your area I recommend you check them out first. 8 rounds with 8 questions each and prizes for the top teams. How can you go wrong? Also you could be famous, because all of the Quizmasters post weekly blog entries and you or your team could get mentioned. Internet fame is still fame right?

Now I must attend to my studies but at least I put something up here for you.

Sara

That was awesome.

I kind of wish I had one of those Staple's easy buttons but instead of saying "that was easy" I'd like for it to say "that was awesome"

Here's an update:
I have a new job (I work with Kindergarten and first grade students as a 1:1 aide). I'm still a vegetarian (I think I'm still trying to come to terms with this fact). I continue to love Boston (it just feels like home to me).  I'm in the middle of midterms. I really need to focus on that. But I also wanted to update because it's been a month and I've gone to Atlanta and back and not shared anything. I was sad that the Braves didn't get the wild card this year. They always choke. :(


That is all.  :)

Update: Yesterday was probably the best day I've had since I moved to Boston.


Here it is the long and short of it.
I woke up early fully intent on having to spend my morning working. I came in the door greeted by "Heeeeeyyyyyy Sara" by one of the students I work with. (He's really funny and cute, if not sometimes persistent about getting things he cannot have, (i.e. candy bars in grocery stores). Anyway, this guy is one of the reasons I want to continue working part time. I then realized that we were overstaffed, so I called my supervisor and volunteered myself to go home. I set the staff up with places to take the students and left to go do homework. So I scored six hours of gloriously beautiful time, which has become a precious commodity for me these days.

Around 4pm,  I went for tea. This prompted me to think about wanting an awesome button and spurred me into a good mood that carried over for the rest of the night. This is really all the information you need about tea.

Following teatime,  my buddy Jay and I rode bikes into Allston for dinner. We walked the streets in search of a dive bar where I could play wing girl for him. I did a terrible job of playing wing girl and instead we got caught up on each others lives and discussed the excitement of the possibility of a Blue 4 reunion (the AmeriCorps team we were both on, for those of you who have come in late). Hanging out with Jay is always a good time, he is so full of life and always craves adventure. And Jay at 1 in the morning after the bar closes when he has access to a bike, leads to once in a lifetime adventures.

The bar closed because they close super early here. We arrived at the bikes and Jay had this look in his eyes, and said "we could go back, or we could ride into Boston."  Who am I to deny Jay or anyone of a bike ride? So I said lets go.  We rode down Commonwealth all smiles. Happy to be on bikes in Boston at night time. Jay greeted every pedestrian he could with a joyous "hullo" We came upon Boston Public Garden (for those of you not keeping up, my favorite park in the entire world). So of course it is mandated by the laws of my own happiness that any time I am within a mile of Boston Public Garden, I must venture towards it. And what luck that we did because we encountered a band of bikers. Known as SCUL.They ride on modified bikes and have created a subculture that  Busts the funk and spends Saturday nights navigating Boston and it's surrounding cities. They allowed Jay and I to tag along on and Bust Funk with them. We danced in a park, watched a rousing game of Derby (where they knock each other off their modified bikes but in a nice way), and rode through the most beautiful parts of Boston until almost Sunrise. Jay and I discussed the possibility that our waiter may have dropped hallucinogens in our beverages because the whole experience was surreal. I've never met a group of individuals more free and unafraid of excitement. Their energy was magnetic and if we weren't both craving greasy diner food we may have followed them until the end of time. We didn't end up making it to an open diner because I'm almost positive that 24 hour diners don't exist in Boston. However, we did ride along the Charles River from Cambridge to Watertown enjoying the worlds most beautiful skyline the whole way. We cheered and shouted and eagerly discussed our amazing experience.


I couldn't have asked for a better day. It was one of those days where I was reminded that You Only Live Once and to enjoy joy.

Love sick

I'm at work, I should probably not advertise that I'm writing this at work but my employer seriously doesn't mind as long as I stay awake and have all of my other work done. I do I do have all my other work completed. I'm actually ahead in my duties.

It's been two weeks. I don't like relationships, I find them to be confusing. I'm trying to focus on finding a new job. If anyone is hiring I'm seeking employment. I am trying to focus on my upcoming trip to Atlanta. I leave on September 11 and return on the 13th. I hope that my flight is safe. I'm nervous to fly on that day. I'm sure it unsettles most people.

I don't know where I'll be in ten years and that scares me. However I do know where I want to be. I've been trying to focus on my nonprofit and let the rest play out. I like school. I'm a nerd. This post is stream of conscious. I'm still a vegetarian. I don't know what I'm gonna give up next month... it's ten so I'm gonna go home.

Night.