Life is good. I feel like I'm getting better at recognizing when things are going well for me. Right now, things are going really well. I like my jobs, all four of them. I like my friends, new and old. I'm keeping busy. Like really busy, this is the first week in several months that I had 3 nights free. Even with all the extra free time, I still didn't get enough sleep, but I think sometimes it's okay to trade sleep for experience. I mean you only live once after all, and looking back ten years from now I'll be more interested in remembering the experiences I had as opposed to the times I've slept.
Plus I love having the opportunity to connect with other people and I definitely had that this week. This experience was timely as it reminded me of a few points that I think I sometimes lose sight of:
- No man is an island. Connecting with different people on any level is important.
- Sometimes, I can learn more about someone if I just ask questions.
- Communication is essential, although can be very tricky.
- It's really a wonderful feeling to let myself be happy and to focus on happiness as opposed to focusing on the things that make my unhappy.
- Sometimes I remember things differently, and looking things up can change my opinion on things I thought were very true (or conversely, solidify my opinion).
I want to say more about Christmas. I want to talk more about this holiday but to be honest, it doesn't have the same meaning for me as it used to. I'm not gonna lie, when I was a kid, Christmas was all about the presents. That fat man better eat my cookies and leave me everything on my list exactly. (This feeling has slowly started to fade). But I think it's interesting how entitled, I felt as a kid and sometimes feel now. I think I need to define what this holiday means to me. I think I need to remind myself of what is important. I know that I have labeled myself as Christian on this blog before, that hasn't really changed and I understand the belief that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus and celebrating him and stuff. And I think Jesus was a cool guy, who did a lot of awesome things for people. Even if you took out the things that are difficult to believe, e.g., he walked on water, brought Lazarus back from the dead, fed a whole town with a couple of fish and loaf of bread. Even if you took all of that out, the guy was willing to love people no one else would, and that is not something everyone can do. However, I never really bought into the Jesus was born in December thing because there is no factual evidence that this happened. Also, Jesus didn't really like all of the traditions of the church. Hence why there are a lot of Old Testament practices that are no longer followed. Further more, if you really look at Christmas it is an amalgamation of a lot of different holiday traditions. The Yule Log, the Christmas tree, the giving of gifts, the decorations, the Jolly fat guy, also the Jesus' birthday thing. I mean if you break it down Christmas is supposed to be about giving and stuff. Giving time of yourself to spend with the people you care about. Sometimes giving presents to others to show your appreciation, you know that whole experience of spending time with people you care about and enjoying that time together. I think this year, I want to focus more on the fact that I get to spend a few days with people I care about and never get to see anymore.
I'm certainly not perfect and I still have sense of selfishness around Christmas. I'm stoked that my dad gave me money for Christmas (I totally need it to pay for school). I'm excited to know that I'm probably gonna get to open some stuff on Christmas morning, new stuff is cool. But then I also think why do I care so much about stuff? I should care more about the people who gave me the stuff. Which is why I'm at a point where I want to reevaluate Christmas. I'm so appreciative that some of the kids at my school gave me presents. It was really bizarre and so sweet to be on the receiving end of a gift from a child. It was such a surreal feeling. I also love that I get to spend time with my mom. I'm grateful for the break from 50-60 hour work weeks. Yet I still managed to work over break, but it could be worst. I'm happy about a lot of things right now but that whole not avoiding sleep to experience life does not apply to blog entries. And I keep getting distracted so I'm gonna go prepare for Christmas.
Anyway, I hope y'all have a happy, or merry or whatever you celebrate Holiday Season.
Sarapens
p.s. to my dad... I love you. Thanks for the things you do for me. It's cool to know that someone has always and will always think I'm special.
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