How to lose 50 pounds: the getting dumped diet.

Disclaimer*** I started writing this back in August, and just recently finished it.

So you want to lose weight you say? Well I have the trick for you! It's gonna take a while, some dedication, some hard work. The first step is to go out there and live your life; do things, join a book club, or a softball team, or host pub quizzes. Make sure life is awesome so that way men (or women) whatever the case maybe are attracted to you. People are attracted to people with a life it's a proven fact (or at least one I just made up). Think about it you like people who do things, you don't like people who do nothing. Unless your me, in which case you like practically everyone (at least that's how I used to be, I find myself to be a tad bit picky these days). Anyway life will be going great, you'll meet a guy (or girl), preferably Canadian. You like Canadians they're stereotypically nice. Date this person for a while, stop doing the things you were doing before because you're young and you only live once so you're up to trying new things. Try new things. Everything he does you should do. He's gonna always invite you along cause he's nice and you won't decline the invitation because you're nice. That's just the way nice people are, anyway eventually you'll stop doing all the things you like doing in order to do the things he does because well, that's just what you do. Things will go great. Seriously you guys won't ever fight. That would be silly. He's Canadian and Canadians don't like fighting, you don't like fighting either (you may actually be part Canadian, but you're not entirely sure). He's gonna make you feel like he wants you around all the time, so you'll be around all the time, for him. Although in reality, you both need personal space. Then he should go away so that way you can get your personal space. A two week trip would be really great. While he's away you should go to the gym. You're shower's broken, and you're roommates are really weird about the shower and you're too nice to argue, so it will just be easier to shower at the gym, make sure you work out first. While he's gone, start doing your own things again. Don't worry you're really gonna enjoy doing all the things you've been avoiding because you're too nice. Seriously go to the gym everyday, or do some kind of exercise. When he comes back from his travels (you should definitely pick him up from the airport, and you should definitely take the day off unpaid from work, because you're nice). Then he'll dump you, because you're too nice. Then only eat like half a meal a day don't worry you won't have an appetite anyway, but continue to workout; it will help you to get your mind off of him. Because if you did it right you fell head over heels for this kid, so when you break up it will really really hurt. But don't worry it does get better. It does. It takes a while, 6 months later you'll still have dreams about him, but you won't look him up anymore. You'll eventually delete his number from his phone, after you send him a text message that he never responds too probably because he hates you, but only because you're too nice, which must be saying something because he is Canadian after all. Keep exercising, begin eating again, seriously  you can only do the not eating thing for like two weeks if you do it any longer you should consider getting some help. But when you do start eating again, eat five small meals a day. Seriously, and work out. 5 days a week, it doesn't have to be hard just move go for a walk, take a spin class, ride your bike, everywhere. Sign up for races, become obsessed with beating your race time, you'll start at 14 minute miles but by the end of the summer you'll be down to 10 minute miles, and that's impressive. The weight will fall off, every time your mom comes to town she'll have to buy you new pants, you'll really like that because your mom has been obsessed with your weight, since fourth grade when you came home crying everyday because the boys called you free willy. But you were to nice to do anything but cry and eat more ice cream so it was a perpetual problem. Now though, your mom will be happy with you, you'll be happy with you, you'll hate yourself a little bit for caring, but you'll really love how great it feels to be a girl and wear a dress. You never knew you could love wearing dresses, and even though you still wear shorts underneath them, you like the way it feels. Keep making goals for yourself, at first you wanted to run 12 minute miles, then you want to run 11 minute miles, then you'll want to run 9 minute miles. You'll start off running your first 5k, and you'll kill it so then you'll want to run a 10k, then you'll want to run a 1/2 marathon. Just keep going, you stop thinking about who you might spend the rest of your life with and you start thinking about who you have to spend the rest of your life with: yourself. You've always been a pretty cool person, you're too nice, but don't hate yourself for it, embrace it. You just you know have to  get better about letting people take advantage of your nice.