The long road home

I am currently sitting at the same table in the same chair at the same Borders where I first found out that I was accepted to AmeriCorps National Civilian Community Corps. It feels awful. I am almost in tears as I look back on this year and feel empty. It's not as though I feel that this experience was a waste of my time. Quite the contrary, it was amazing. I was surrounded by people with the same drive for service that I have, I was able to help people, and I gained a plethora of skills that I am able to use on my resume. I'm empty because I miss the people, and I miss the service and the new skills. I'm trying to combat my depression with getting involved in service projects locally, but unfortunately I still need a job. I'm hoping that by becoming involved and volunteering I will be able to make friends and hopefully connections. But for now, I'm empty. I miss being surrounded by 300 other people who I choose to believe have a passion for service.

In Podunk, Ga I have very few friends. I live with my dad, whom is a hermit crab. I sleep on an air mattress, which the air is beginning to leak out of. I spend my days watching reruns of Degrassi: The Next Generation and True Blood (the latter more acceptable TV watching than the former) and applying for jobs, which has yielded little success. The only thing I really have going for me right now, other than my sometimes resilient personality, is that I am starting Grad School. Well, sort of. I'm in a Nonprofit Management Certificate program through American Humanics via LSUS (note the S). I am hoping to matriculate as a graduate student.

So, Life After AmeriCorps has lead me to feeling like my boyfriend whom I was very much in love with has dumped me and left me for a newer younger girlfriend. AmeriCorps NCCC Class XVII will take my place. A new Corps Member will blog periodically about their life traveling the country with nine other people getting things done for America. And I will continue where I left off with my Life in Podunk.

Podunk, feels stale now that I have lived in California. There are no hills with cows happily grazing in the greenest pastures I've ever seen. There are no ocean breezes. There is humidity, southern accents and cable television. While Cable Television doesn't sound so bad. I would never watch another episode of Degrassi if someone would give me a job in California doing something I loved, as long as I was financially stable enough to pay my mountain of bills. (I mean if that's what it took for me to live there, I really like Degrassi).

The point is this year changed my life. I don't know if it was for the better or what but I've come to realize three very important things:

First and Foremost: I am not an Island. (No man is an Island for that matter). I need people in my life. I thrive on being around people and spending this past year hanging out with people who have similar goals was one of the coolest things I could have every been allowed to experience. It allowed me to work harder knowing that I was with people who had similar ideals. Also, when you live in a house with 9 other people, you're never alone. Which at the time I thought wasn't the best thing, but now that it's over I'm happy they were right there with me. Furthermore, I sincerely doubt that I will ever have the same amount of camaraderie that I had in AmeriCorps NCCC.

Secondly: I am in love with the West Coast. I know this doesn't sound like a really big or important thing. But when I was fantasizing about being in NCCC, the Pacific Region was actually on the bottom of my list. I didn't want to live in California. I didn't think that it sounded all that great and I was wildly in love with the idea of one day moving to Boston. Now, after spending some time in California, it's hard to believe that I had no desire to go there. Which is really a two for one kind of lesson. The first being I now have a place where I want to end up and full intentions on moving out that way. Second, you can never know until you try. I shouldn't have shunned California without first checking it out. I hope that I will keep that in mind as I move forward in life.

Finally, and quite possibly the most important thing I learned this year: I have become a fool for service. I feel empty when I'm not working and helping others. I want to be able to continue my passion for service, by volunteering. I have made it a personal goal to obtain the lifetime volunteer service award. I also still intend to complete my life long goal of a leap year of service, (366 days worth of Volunteer work, 8,784 hours). I will greedily use the 1700 hours that I gained this year as part of that. I am excited to volunteer with KaBOOM! on the 11th of September and getting involved in the community here in Podunk. Before volunteering was something I enjoyed doing, now it has become something I don't feel full without doing.

In conclusion, although I currently feel empty. I CAN imagine what my life would have been like had I not completed my AmeriYear. I couldn't have made a better choice for myself, even if the experience wasn't always the most glamorous, it was completely and totally worth it!
So, now I guess that my life has come full circle it is time to explore new avenues and start my next adventure. I just have to figure out what it is first.