You take the good you take the bad you take them both and there you have...

10 reasons why my job is NOT better than your job...

1. My job is not a career, it's not a life goal, it's simply a place holder.
2. I got cursed at this morning before breakfast.
3. I get bored watching t.v. and folding laundry and helping with chores.
4. I am constantly searching for personal goal fulfillment, that is not obtainable in my current line of work.
5. Showering people is uncomfortable.
6. I hate restraints. I don't like doing them and it takes a lot out of me to have to go into one. (I will do them because I have too, but you cannot expect me to like it).
7. I answer the same questions over and over again, within a five minute span asked by the same person.
8. I feel like my presence doesn't matter.
9. I have done the same puzzle at least 10 times. I am running out of ways to find new ways to do it.
10. I sometimes get bruised, scratched and bit.

10 reasons why my job IS better than your job...
1. I can get paid up to 30/hr to play basketball, board games, and watch television. (This is if I'm working overtime and it's a holiday, however getting paid 12/hr to play isn't bad either).
2. I can make a kid smile in 4 words or less.
3. I can try new things.
4. I get more compliments about my ability to do this job, than any job I've ever worked.
5. I get to work with 6 amazing people, and they offer me a new appreciation for the life I have.
6. I get to try a lot of firsts. (My first ride on the T, my first apple picking experience, etc).
7. I have trained my brain to be working in two places at once. It's helping a kid vacuum, and thinking of ways to improve the nonprofit I want to start.
8. I get to play all day, (or most of it), everyday.
9. I get to learn about things I would've never known about otherwise.
10. No matter what happens, I smile every day, for the majority of my work day.

I feel like it is necessary to have balance, nothing is perfect. My job is far more enjoyable than raking leaves, or shredding papers, (no offense to the recovery school district, it had to be done), or making coffees for people who have forgotten how to smile. It is also not always the easiest thing to do. I also know that I can't do it forever. I am not the kind of person who would feel satisfied doing this forever. I love it, and am happy to have this job. Especially at a time when so many people are unemployed. I want to get better at it. I also don't want to be bored. It's a balance, and I'll have to find that balance. It was a lot more difficult to come up with 10 worst reasons than 10 best reasons.

I think it's necessary to have perspective, I will not always be happy. Nor, will I always be sad. Happiness is a lot easier to find, when you only focus on the positive. I've noticed that I've spent a lot of time in the last week thinking about negative things. As a consequence, my demeanor has been more negative, I've felt a lot more feelings of wanting to pick up and move again. I'm very good at finding a way to run away from things. I don't expect life to be perfect, and to tell you the truth, I don't want it to be. I just want to be me, this mostly positive person, who can make you smile in 4 words or less.

Eventually, I'm going to have to stop caring what everyone else thinks, even my friends, even my family. I think all in all I just want to be me. Whomever, that maybe. (I do realize, I've said this twice. Perhaps, I am still trying to figure out who I am. Perhaps, I know. I guess in the end it doesn't matter and yet I again, I am writing to put something else off).