The days are closing in around me and I’m less than a week away from my first day in NCCC. I can’t wait; I’m nervous and excited, but I don’t mind the mixed feelings. It would be weird if I were completely comfortable with what I’m about to do. Honestly, I’m not. I have my reservations: am I going to make it through training? How much of an issue will it be that I’m not very fast or strong? Will my weaknesses be too big an interference for this program? Is it going to be too stressful for me to handle? Will I ever be ready for this?
Ultimately, I know that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and that if this wasn’t where I was supposed to be right now, I wouldn’t have been allowed in. I am of the mindset that if something is meant to be it will happen, and if it isn’t it’s just not going to work out no matter how hard you try. Don’t be confused, I don’t think life is easy, you have to work for certain opportunities. I did not get handed this opportunity on a silver platter and I’m proud of the work and effort I put into getting here. I also think you shouldn’t give up when the going gets tough, but I do believe if I wasn’t supposed to be in this program, I wouldn’t have been accepted. I’ve never prayed so hard or for so long about a decision in my life before this one. I truly believe that I have God behind me for this next year.
Before I even applied to Americorps, I had researched NCCC pretty thoroughly and I knew that this program would put me out of my comfort zone. That’s what I wanted, a challenge. I want my life to be unpredictable, I want to be forced into flexibility and I want to gain skills I can’t gain anywhere else. I’m so excited for this opportunity, the chance impact the lives of others, and to really help communities in need. I know that I have a tough road ahead but with all that I have been through in my life, and in my own head, this is something that I will ultimately be successful at.
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