2010 My Year in Review

If you don't feel like reading all those entries before this, here is a recap of my last year.

            2010 was probably one of the best years I’ve had. I traveled the country met hundreds of people, made tons of new friends and got to work on several different volunteer projects. I was able to fulfill not one but two of my goals: the first to donate a year or my life to community service, and the second to move to Boston, MA. This year has certainly been a roller coaster ride to say the least, I made friends, I got into arguments, I made up, I got into more arguments, I burned a few bridges, I reconnected with old friends, and I built a few playgrounds a long the way. I experienced love, heartbreak, depression, elation, I accumulated more debt, and I paid off some of that debt. And did I mention that I got to travel the country.

            This year was certainly memorable, and I’m doing my best to end the year the way it started. Today, I flew to Tampa from Boston, Ma with a layover in St. Louis Missouri. Traveling on the last day of the year seems so perfect considering I spent the last year of my life traveling. I’m hoping for an exhilarating night filled with fun, making new friends and hanging out with old. But who knows, this year has been crazy and unpredictable and I wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up driving to Miami or something instead. In any case here is a listing of my year in review.

Cities I’ve lived in 2010:

Sacramento, Ca – on a retired air force base

Mecca, Ca – in a four-bedroom apartment with 9 other people, most of my neighbors were illegal immigrants. I got to wake up to the most beautiful sunrise on the planet. 

Chalmette, LA – in a once flooded School turned into a volunteer housing camp, walking distance from the Ninth Ward.

Nashville, Tn – in a church, with cable T.V. a giant movie projector and the most comfortable couches I’ve ever sat on. I also spent the majority of my day-covered head to toe in mud. It was phenomenal. 

Chalmette, La – this time in a 3 bedroom duplex where I shared a bedroom with four other people.

Loganville, Ga – in my dad’s guest room while I searched for Jobs.

Watertown, Ma – in my new apartment, 10 miles from the most beautiful city in the world.

States I’ve traveled to or through in 2010

California – Not only did I live hear, but I traveled up and down the coast. I got to experience both northern and southern California. Also, I got to go to Disneyland, how awesome is that?

Nevada – for a fun filled, weekend in Lake Tahoe, as well as a stop in Vegas on the road trip home. 

New Mexico – Most of my time in New Mexico was spent in a 15 passenger van, but I did get to do some minor site seeing and go to a swimming hole. 

Arizona – Again, I traveled through Az on my trip to New Orleans and back.

Texas – I finally was able to see Texas. I hate Houston, in case you were wondering but Austin was pretty cool, and I hope I can go back some day.

Louisiana – I was in New Orleans for several months, working with the Recovery School District. I was able to build playgrounds with KaBoom, restore bikes and experience the dirty south. As much as New Orleans will never be home to me, in the months since I’ve left it’s finally rooted itself into my heart.

Mississippi – I don’t like to think about Mississippi, because I went here with a guy I was dating and he broke up with me while I was there. I still had fun and I picked up a new pair of rocket dogs, which are in a land fill somewhere cause I wore them out.

Alabama –  I drove through Alabama on our way to TN.

Georgia – Not only did I live in Georgia for several weeks, I drove through it several times.

Tennessee – I was here for flood recovery.

North Carolina – I went on a trip to North Carolina, with the guy that dumped me in Mississippi. Looking back, I’m happy that the short lived fling is done and over with. Florida – A good place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there, anymore.

Virginia – My disdain for this state goes beyond words, but I had to get to Massachusetts somehow and it was on the way. All I can remember about Va are crappy drivers and stupid people.

Maryland – I got to visit Annapolis and hang out with a friend and sing Karaoke.

Washington, D.C. – Which isn’t necessarily a state, but they do have their own license plates so I guess I should put it on. I also got to celebrate 4^th of July in the nations capital. Now that’s a story for the ages.

New York – I went to upstate New York, and Brookyln, I also spent an hour and a half on the George Washington Bridge. I liked Rochester, but could do without seeing NYC ever again.

New Hampshire – I was able to spend the night in New Hampshire, before my job interview, I went to a Podunk town, but I have a feeling that New Hampshire is mostly country.

Massachusetts – I live here now. I was able to visit western mass, on a road trip and of course I live near Boston, so you know life is good.

Vermont– I drove through Vermont on my way to Montreal. I don’t remember much about Vermont other than, I stopped for coffee and was surprised to see snow covering the ground.

Quebec –  I went to Canada with my best friend, we hung out in Montreal for a few days and I got to try Pouitnne.

Pennsylvania– I had to drive through Pennsylvania, on my northeastern road trip and again on my move. I still haven’t been able to do Philly like I’ve wanted.

New Jersey– Again, I only drove through New Jersey, but I did have my gas pumped for me. Weird.

Missouri– I had a layover in Missouri on my last day of the year. It probably counts less than the states I drove through this year, but I’m adding it to the list just the same.

Connecticut - I had to drive through it on my way up to Mass, but I've also been there a few times with a friend, on such travels we always stop for Rein's Deli.

Places I worked for in 2010

WJUSD – Tutoring and mentoring high school students at Woodland High School in Woodland, California.

CVHC – Building houses and working in an after school program in Mecca, California

RSD – Doing a variety of projects for the Recovery School District, including painting murals, helping with fun days, and shredding documents in New Orleans, La.

FEMA – Mucking and gutting houses in Nashville, Tn after the flood.

SBP – mowing lawns, and doing whatever else the Saint Bernard Project asked of me in Chalmette, LA.

PG – Working with kids with multiple disabilities, in Watertown, Ma.

Things I had never done before in 2010.

Framed, mucked, gutted, and roofed houses, picked apples, skied , ate poutine, served crab to people, built playgrounds, organized a fundraiser, back country camped in Joshua Tree, visited Disney Land, ate a pastrami sandwiches and probably a lot more.

Merry Grinchmas

I'm in Beantown for Christmas. The good news I get to spend it with my best friend, the better news I have a few days off from work. But the bad news is that I have Canadian Moose Flu, which is what I've decided to name the illness that I contracted in Canada. I went to Canada Sunday night and came back with the Canadian Moose Flu on Wednesday. It was awful I spent the last few days trying to convince Comet and Cupid that I wasn't related to them. I am certain I'm going to grow antlers or something, and the next thing I know I'll be clinging to Dasher or Dancer yelling at Santa to turn the damn sled around! Okay not so much. I've never had the flu before but I haven't been able to eat or drink or indulge in any of the things people indulge in over the holiday season, like eating chocolate covered peanut butter balls, or cookie dough. I'm getting sick just thinking about it. I haven't felt this way since I got food poisoning in Summer 2009, that was embarrassing. Although I didn't get this sickness on my own it is the only thing I've been able to think about for the past few days. In all my focus on trying not to turn into a moose, I forgot that Christmas was coming. I bet Santa's left the North Pole by now, traveling the globe passing out presents to all the girls and boys of planet Earth or whatever it is that he does. I dunno, he stopped bringing me presents a few years ago.

Sometimes, I miss being a kid. But then again, you have to grow up sometime.

I forgot what I was going on about, the moose are at it again. Night all, Merry Christmas, or whatever you celebrate.

Sara

Life is good

Well sort of... nothing is perfect but my writing has been slowed. And will continue to be slowed until after Christmas I bet. Happy Holidays

Lacking Consistency

    
     I just came to the realization that my life is lacking consistency, and it's been that way ever since I can remember. Perhaps, everyone has realized this at some point, which is why I'm realizing it now. Although, now that I'm thinking about it, I've become frustrated. My desire for a sense of stability has been ever growing since I graduated college. I have moved several times over the last 6 years. By several I mean 18 or so times. On average I move three times a year. In 2010, alone I've moved 9 times. Although the majority of those 9 are from AmeriCorps, but if you don't count my 6 AmeriCorps moves, I've still moved 3 times this year. I anticipate moving again, not before the end of this year, but eventually I'll have to move. Perhaps next September, I'll move farther from work and closer to the city. But I don't want to think about moving because my already frustrated move has now soured. I'm sure I will, it's inevitable, but I don't have to worry about it right now. Not right now, which is what has saved me from dwelling on stability, because all I have to do is think about right now. Right now, I'm relatively safe. Right now, my bills are paid or will be paid. Right now I have food in my belly or the ability to put it there. Right now, I have the ability to put my clothes on my back, if they're not already there. Thinking about the here and the now has saved me from thinking about the what ifs, thinking about the what could be's, the future.
       It's a scary thing, the future. Anything can happen between here and tomorrow. It's unpredictable, it's unstable. And I suppose, it's that way for everybody. At least there's solidarity in numbers.

It's before midnight, did you expect something that made sense?

Sara Plain and Tall

There is nothing of interest going on in my life right now.

So here's 10 things I've done or have been working on: (I really just like making lists).
1. It's finals week so I've been working on Case Studies.
2. I was asked to come up with and start a regular group for the kids at work. We'll probably do a ton of arts and crafts projects.
3. I may have acquired a new gaming system, and if I did I've probably been playing COD Black OPS and Assassin's Creed
4. I ate a Pastrami Sandwich from Rein's Deli. (It was delicious).
5.  I watched teen drama shows on ABC Family and Teen Nick. (Everyone is allowed to have a guilty pleasure, right?)
6. I used Consequentialism to justify poor decision making in a paper. (I sometimes use this thinking to justify my own actions in real life).
7. I wore shorts outside, in 30 degree weather.
8. I purchased boots that I can build snowmen in.
9. I decided that I'm awesome. (Or at least I decided that I'd start telling myself that, in hopes that I'll believe it. It's starting to work. I feel like I'm awesome).
10. I drew pictures of hamburgers for one of the kids at work.

It was really hard to come up with this list. I really need a hobby, but right now my hobby needs to be writing this case study.

Here's a list of 10 things I should've done:
1. Read the case for my case study.
2.  Take the final exam for financial management.
3. Make Christmas presents.
4. Paint the painting I owe my best friend.
5. Write the proposal for the weekly group I've been asked to start.
6. Clean my room.
7. Find a primary care physician and go for an annual check up.
8. Finish reading 3 cups of tea.
9. Update my website.
10. Make and write postcards that I've been promising people.

Yay! Case studies.

Also it's apparently choose your favorite cartoon character week on Facebook or something. Here's my choice:

This is probably an obvious choice.

Here's a picture of the Rocket Dogs I ordered a few weeks ago.

Thanksgiving Turkey, Past and Pumpkin Pie

This year, I had Thanksgiving dinner at work. It was surreal. I celebrated the holiday with several students and staff from work. Our spread was bountiful, we had pasta, and tuna sandwiches, turkey, green bean casserole (my favorite) and pumpkin pie. I stood in the hallway watching the kids play with each other. I was sad at first thinking about how this was not the Thanksgiving tradition that I had grown up with. I hadn't watched the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade or any of the football games. Instead I slept until 2 preparing for a potential overnight shift. Luckily, I didn't have to work the overnight. All of the kids at my house were able to go home and spend the holiday with their family. I however, spent it at work. I missed my Grandmothers sweet tea and waking up early this morning to cash in on all the Black Friday deals. I missed out on the family gossip and sweet potato casserole. But Thanksgiving hasn't been the same in my family since my Grandmother died all those years ago. I no longer spend the holiday in Ga with my dad's family. In fact I can't remember the last time I had Thanksgiving dinner with any of my relatives. The holiday doesn't have the same magic as it used to. These last few years, I've done it a little different each time. But there was something about this year that was special. Perhaps it was because I didn't feel alone even though I was sure that I would. I thought that there wasn't any possible way for me to be able to connect considering that everyone I care about is so far away.

Another list for you, my top 10 favorite Thanksgiving memories:

1. Waking up at 3:30 am the day after Thanksgiving and going to Shoney's before hitting up the holiday madness and being the first in line to tell Santa Clause what I want for Christmas. (This year I want games and puzzles for the kids at work).
2. Handing out high fives to runners at the Sacramento Turkey Trot.
3. The Safety guy putting out fires in the 943 kitchen.
4. Mimosas and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
5. Riding four wheelers.
6. Making my first snowman and enjoying the weekend off with my friends in Tahoe.
7. Hanging out with my Grandmother in the kitchen drinking the best sweet tea known to man.
8. Fighting with my cousin over who owns the Popple*.
9. Explaining to Londoners why it was so important to make Green Bean casserole on the last Thursday of November.
10. Spending time with my mom on one of the few days of the year she doesn't have to work.

Well, I hope everyone had a great time with their friends and families. Try not to get into a fight over Black Friday deals.

The Pilgrims crossed the ocean and stole the land from the Indians and for that I am thankful.

Okay so probably not the best thing to be thankful for, but I am thankful for other things too.

Here's a list of ten things I'm thankful for:
1. My Best friend and very supportive family.
2. Having a job in this economy.
3. The new friends I've made in the Northeast.
4. Being young and not having anything to tie me down.
5. Having a roof over my head.
6. Finding a place to call home.
7. The last year of my life, I traveled the country with 8 amazing people and got to do things most people could never dream of.
8. My new city.
9. Pastrami Reubens from Rein's Deli.
10. and connections with other people.

Of course there are more things I'm for which I am thankful but it could take years to name everything I love about the world.

Last year for Thanksgiving I got up early and volunteered for the Sacramento Turkey Trot. I cheered on hundreds of runners and distributed so many high fives my hands were red. Afterward I sat down for a homemade feast. I spent the weekend with friends at Lake Tahoe and experienced many firsts. My first sled ride, my first snowball fight, building my first snowman.

This year I'll be breaking bread at work, eating dinner with the kids whose parents didn't come to take them home. We'll eat turkey and stuffing and watch cartoons instead of football. I'm positive that nothing will top last thanksgiving, but I look forward to be able to share the holiday with strangers and new friends.

Perhaps for me this year Thanksgiving will be more like the first one, the one when the Indians and the Pilgrims sat down together as strangers and left as friends. I mean they were friends for a while until the Pilgrims took land, passed on new diseases and tried to enslave their new friends. Why do we celebrate this holiday again?

Oh yeah, to give thanks. Thanks to all of you for reading my late night ramblings. I hope your holidays are happy and safe and your relationships turn out a lot better than one between the pilgrims and the Indians.

That insanely hard level that you just can't get past.

I've been playing this game on PS2. I don't play video games enough to get a PS3. I also haven't made enough money to buy a PS3 until recently, and well after all those years of not being able to afford a more advanced system, I can't really find a reason to run out and buy one. Maybe in a few years, or after I get my student loans figured out. Anyway, after spending more time and energy than I care to admit on this video game, I'm stuck. The game is God of War, and I'm at the part where you have to dodge these stupid moving gates to get to the next stage. It seems as though every time I try the level I just get hit by the gates. Every few times, I get to the first depression in the floor and I find a sense of safety. I feel better about trying it again because I got to that first part, but the next part just seems impossible. No matter what I do, the freaking gates hit me. I looked up cheat codes and stuff, but decided against it. It just doesn't seem right to cheat on a game. And quite frankly I haven't found any that will actually work. I've looked at tips too. I have done my homework on this game; I just can't figure it out. I've thought about playing a new game and starting from the beginning, but for some reason I really like this game. I keep thinking about how much I enjoyed it when I first got it. It was new, and exciting, even perhaps dangerous at times. Now I just feel stupid for continuing to get hit over and over again by the gates. I mean really, isn't the definition of insanity trying to do the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. You'd think I'd try a new tactic or at least start a new game. I'm not so far along that I'm going to feel bad if I never beat it. I mean it would just be between me and my memory card (well now the internet) that I can't beat this level. I think I just still have that glimmer of hope. Sometimes, I wish that I never made it to the first depression; I think if I just kept getting swept away by the gates, I would learn that I just won't ever get past the level, and I'd move on. It's not as if I didn't try. I did, I looked up guides and Google searched and what not, but those freaking gates just hit me over and over. Maybe my frustration is finally getting to me, I'm obviously not going anywhere with this game. I could be at this level forever, and who wants that? You can't really tell people that even after a month that you're still on the same level. Serious gamers will laugh at you, and your regular friends, well, they'll never understand. I mean most of them have told me that I should try a different game.

I guess, the beginning was too much fun and I really just want to see what happens next, so here I go again back to the gates, watching the character get  destroyed over and over again. Good thing this kind of thing never happens in real life.

A hinting of a cross roads....

semi-stream of consciousness: 
Life is confusing, I'm young. I know this because I haven't turned thirty yet and the need to get married and have kids isn't nagging me. I'm sure it will soon, soon I will have to explain to people why I'd rather have cats then kids. I like kids, they're great. It's more or less the other part the husband part that scares me. However, I try not to spend much time thinking about finding someone to hang out with for the rest of my life. It's time consuming and often times depressing. Not that I haven't met some choice people recently, I might have. This isn't what I wanted to talk about.

GAH! I may have found a new path, and uncovered a new trail for myself in this world, but it means that I'd have to back track. It's probably a more difficult path and it would certainly lead to a different life. Somehow though I feel like the only reason I'd take this path is because of the delicious looking berries tempting me. They look plump and juicy, like the sweetest berries any person has ever tasted. I wonder if they're poisonous, I wonder if they're not actually berries, maybe they're just an illusion. I'm too curious not to attempt to determine whether the berries are innocuous. Although, I don't really want to just eat berries for the sake of eating berries. Perhaps though, that's kind of what I've been doing so far in this life. Wandering through the forest looking for berries. In fact, I wonder if that's how I ended up here. If I'm here now because I got lost in the woods looking for berries. Somehow, I ended up in this place that I had visited once before, the last time I was here the berries were the best I'd ever tasted. Now the taste is the same, but it's not as bright as it used to be. It was like my memory made them more vibrant and delicious.

I got distracted where was I... oh yeah traveling through a forest chasing berries. What am I freaking bear? do bears even eat berries? Bears eat people, and small animals and fish. Oh well I think I messed up what I was trying to say anyway. I seem to be tongue tied, or finger tied I guess as the case may be. I really like the berries in this forest, but I kind of want to check out these other berries over there, just scout it out you know. I mean cause those berries look like they may sustain me longer. I might as well check em out huh?

I really should set up some kind of don't write blogs after midnight triggers on this thing. I don't know if any of that makes any sense. Perhaps it's best. Hopefully no one thinks that berries are anything more than just berries. They probably are just berries.

I can assure you though berries are not a metaphor for people. Grammar might have been, but definitely not berries. I mean who would want to eat people? Certainly not me.

You take the good you take the bad you take them both and there you have...

10 reasons why my job is NOT better than your job...

1. My job is not a career, it's not a life goal, it's simply a place holder.
2. I got cursed at this morning before breakfast.
3. I get bored watching t.v. and folding laundry and helping with chores.
4. I am constantly searching for personal goal fulfillment, that is not obtainable in my current line of work.
5. Showering people is uncomfortable.
6. I hate restraints. I don't like doing them and it takes a lot out of me to have to go into one. (I will do them because I have too, but you cannot expect me to like it).
7. I answer the same questions over and over again, within a five minute span asked by the same person.
8. I feel like my presence doesn't matter.
9. I have done the same puzzle at least 10 times. I am running out of ways to find new ways to do it.
10. I sometimes get bruised, scratched and bit.

10 reasons why my job IS better than your job...
1. I can get paid up to 30/hr to play basketball, board games, and watch television. (This is if I'm working overtime and it's a holiday, however getting paid 12/hr to play isn't bad either).
2. I can make a kid smile in 4 words or less.
3. I can try new things.
4. I get more compliments about my ability to do this job, than any job I've ever worked.
5. I get to work with 6 amazing people, and they offer me a new appreciation for the life I have.
6. I get to try a lot of firsts. (My first ride on the T, my first apple picking experience, etc).
7. I have trained my brain to be working in two places at once. It's helping a kid vacuum, and thinking of ways to improve the nonprofit I want to start.
8. I get to play all day, (or most of it), everyday.
9. I get to learn about things I would've never known about otherwise.
10. No matter what happens, I smile every day, for the majority of my work day.

I feel like it is necessary to have balance, nothing is perfect. My job is far more enjoyable than raking leaves, or shredding papers, (no offense to the recovery school district, it had to be done), or making coffees for people who have forgotten how to smile. It is also not always the easiest thing to do. I also know that I can't do it forever. I am not the kind of person who would feel satisfied doing this forever. I love it, and am happy to have this job. Especially at a time when so many people are unemployed. I want to get better at it. I also don't want to be bored. It's a balance, and I'll have to find that balance. It was a lot more difficult to come up with 10 worst reasons than 10 best reasons.

I think it's necessary to have perspective, I will not always be happy. Nor, will I always be sad. Happiness is a lot easier to find, when you only focus on the positive. I've noticed that I've spent a lot of time in the last week thinking about negative things. As a consequence, my demeanor has been more negative, I've felt a lot more feelings of wanting to pick up and move again. I'm very good at finding a way to run away from things. I don't expect life to be perfect, and to tell you the truth, I don't want it to be. I just want to be me, this mostly positive person, who can make you smile in 4 words or less.

Eventually, I'm going to have to stop caring what everyone else thinks, even my friends, even my family. I think all in all I just want to be me. Whomever, that maybe. (I do realize, I've said this twice. Perhaps, I am still trying to figure out who I am. Perhaps, I know. I guess in the end it doesn't matter and yet I again, I am writing to put something else off).

Procrastination

So, I have like a million things to do. Actually I have like 6-7 things to do, but I like to exaggerate, because I am very good at it.

Anyway, instead of concentrating on those 6-7 things and just getting them done, I am writing here. Obviously, or you wouldn't be reading this. I procrastinate often, I'm very good at it and then being ridiculously stressed out and taking it out on my favorite people. It's a habit, maybe not the best but a habit nonetheless.

One of the many ways that I like procrastinate is through the internet, I read blogs, watch You Tube videos and follow people on Facebook. Most of the time the people that I follow are the people that I knew in high school. I'm not sure why that is, in fact a lot of the "friends" I have on Facebook are people that I never really talked to in high school. I'm not even sure if they should be called friends. I'm not alone in this there are plenty of other people that have tons of "friends." I'm fairly confident that of the 4 or 5 hundred friends they have, they probably talk to about 50 of them intermittently. In reviewing my phone contacts, I have 250 contacts in my phone, I am not Facebook friends with all my phone contacts. For instance one of my phone contacts is Google*, and as much as I'd love to be Facebook friends with Google, it just hasn't happened yet. I dunno, I just think it's funny that the internet has really changed the way we interact with each other. Now if you want to know what happened to that guy you had a crush on in 8th grade, you can just look him up on Facebook. Perhaps, you want to know if that girl who used to spread rumors about you is failing at life, Facebook can tell you. (I don't know why you would be friends with someone who spread rumors about you, maybe you want to look more popular, either way Facebook can help you with that. It's also great for contacting the people you don't get to see very often because they moved away. I really like networking via the internet. I have twitter, a website, Facebook, 3 different blogs, and loads of emails.  However, I think it's starting to take away from the way we interact with people. Maybe I just need to write more hand written letters and make more postcards.

Perhaps the reason, I've got Facebook on the brain, is because I watched The Social Network  last night. The movie itself was fast paced (those guys talk a mile a minute) lots of artistic shots, and some great pics of Boston. The bridge that the Winklevoss twins rowed under is the bridge that leads into Watertown. That had to be pointed out to me, but it was interesting nonetheless. The story itself was interesting and well told. Perhaps, I liked it so much because I'm nearly always online. Partly because I take online classes, partly because I get bored and the internet has millions of websites that I can entertain myself with. And even because my real life friends have turned into internet friends. I need a hobby.

I really should finish reading for class and attend to those 6-7 other things I need to do today. In short, I recommend The Social Network. Although with how much movie tickets cost, maybe you should wait til it comes out on Netflix, or whatever other way you can get your hands on it for cheap. I kind of wonder if all of Mark Zuckerberg's facebook friends are friends IRL.

*If you text Google (466-453), they'll send you information. For instance if you're out on the town but really want to know the score to the Braves game, you can text "Braves Score" to Google and it will shoot you back not only the score but also when the next game is. This also works for college teams but you have to text "NCAAF" (for football) and then the team. So when I want to know the score for Florida or Florida State I text "NCAAF Florida" or "NCAAF Florida State"  and it sends me the score. It's phenomenal. I could write for days about how much I love Google.

No one wants a happy ending.

I've heard this somewhere before, probably a movie, maybe in theatre class, I would credit it properly if I could remember the source.

My life right now is filled with happy, I could tell you about all the good in my life right now, but you wouldn't want to read it, (with exception of my family of course, that's given). But in writing, happiness doesn't sell. You know what sells? Sex, murder, and betrayal. No one wants to read about how I love my job, (I do). They don't care that I really love the city I live in, (it is so beautiful here). They want to hear about drama, pit falls and the life of a soul lost, just like them, in this wild and crazy world. The occasional rising up against an oppressor, a long lost love now found, or even a minor triumph, is okay as long as it is surrounded by the dark depressing stuff. I want my life to be perfect, to be happy, to be full of hope. And it is, but it isn't.

I guess it's time to admit that the grass isn't any greener in Boston. Life is green, certainly, and for the most part, I'm very happy with what I've been dealt. However, even the greenest lawn has a brown patch, or fire ants lurking in it. Sometimes, green fields have snakes that slither through it, looking for prey, or just something to chew on. I've stepped in my fair share of ant hills, and encountered a snake or two on my new lawn.

I'm sure you want to hear all about why my life isn't perfect right now. It's just that I'm not ready to admit it. I don't want to admit it. I want this move to a city so far from my home, from my friends and family to be perfect, to be the right thing. It could be right for me, maybe it's just life's plan for where I should be.

I guess I can admit this much, hopefully it will help me:
My job is awesome, but has it's downsides.
Boston is beautiful, but sometimes it's really cold and the weather isn't always perfect.
I like the people I've met so far, but I haven't really had the opportunity to fully connect.
I feel alone sometimes, a lot of the times; I miss my friends, I miss my family.
I sometimes worry that I won't find someone to share my life with. Then I worry even more that I'll be like a lot of the women in my family, and feel like I have to settle on someone who just isn't good enough for me.
I am often bored, because when I'm not working and done with school, I have very few things I can occupy my time with.
I am confused, not about everything just about somethings.
I worry that I'll lose sight of my goals and dreams. I worry that I won't accomplish the things that I really want. I worry that I will become distracted by relationships with men. I worry that my desire to make other people happy, will keep me from pursuing my own goals.
I worry that I am making mistakes.
I hate feeling like I'm a bench warmer, or like I'm second string.

I'm not sure if this helped at all but I do know this is true:
I feel better knowing that there other people, in the world, that have the same fears.
I feel better knowing that there is some level balance in the world. When bad things happen, good things sometimes come from it. When people do wrong, sometimes justice is served.
I feel better knowing that I could have written this at a Borders in Podunk, Ga, before or after searching for jobs. Instead, I write this at my desk in my room in Watertown, Ma.
I feel better knowing that I don't live with my parents anymore (no offense guys, I appreciate all that you've done for me, but we aren't good roommates).
I feel better knowing that when I walked into Boston Commons for the first time 10 years ago, and decided that I belong here, I ended up finding a way here.
I am excited to see what sort of relationships develop between myself and the people, I've met. Like I said they're cool, it just takes time. 

I guess in some ways life is bitter sweet, and maybe that's just how it's supposed to be. So perhaps in its own right, life is perfect. Maybe what is perfect for me, and what I want aren't the same things.

Shhh! Don't Tell My Parents....

Things I miss about the south.
What you thought that I was going to write something controversial and post it on the internet?

I never thought this would happen but it has, after being outside of Boston for a month and a half I've started to miss some of the things about the south. Here they are in list form:

My best friend
My family
Having friends in general
Fat Tire and Crystal River Hot Sauce
Buying Beer at the Grocery Store
Central Heating and Air
Driving with the windows down, (the weather makes it hard to do here).
People smiling at me randomly on the street
Strangers striking up conversation with me in stores
Being able to roll up my sleeves outdoors

Here is what I don't miss:
Not having a job
Feeling like my life was going nowhere
The heat
Mosquito Bites
Tourists
Driving 30 minutes to get to a study spot
Southern Accents
Living with my parents
Being held up for long periods of time because I'm too nice to end conversations.
Police with nothing better to do then pull over black people.

Life is good, for the most part, in these parts. I enjoy it. I made really great dinner tonight. I am finishing assignments for class. I have been meeting people. It's just slow going. I love my job, I love the weather. I like the people. I just need a chance to establish myself.

Today someone "borrowed" my keys.

My new job is not something I ever thought I'd be doing. Ever. I didn't think I'd be good, at it. When I was fifteen, I certainly didn't think I'd ever want to do it.

I've had a few moments over these past week that make me appreciate this opportunity more and more.

I will share them with you here:

The kid who doesn't talk very much, and often hangs out by himself, let me go with him to see the school bunny. When we were looking at the bunny, he chatted with me. Well, not like a chat I would have with my friends, but still it was really cool. When I walk into the room, I always say hi to him.  I make a point of it actually, even when I walk by the class, just because I feel like he's one of the kids that doesn't get as much attention as he likes. As a consequence, he often smiles when he sees me. It's so cool.


On Friday, one of the kids kept saying that he looked like me. It was really funny, he put his hoodie on his head, and said "I look like Sara, Sara we look alike." Obviously we're twins.

I got to make an ornament with the girl that doesn't like unfamiliar females (that's me). She didn't stab me with the wooden skewer she was working with, I feel like that's progress. She even said we could paint together. It was cool.

And today, a kid "borrowed" my keys and took them home with her. I left my keys on my purse, and my purse just chilling in the middle of the class. I would've taken them too. I'm just happy she didn't get a hold of the Red Bull in my purse. I learned a valuable lesson about locking my purse and keys up. The whole idea of her taking my keys putting them in her purse and bringing them home with her is kind of funny. (Not so much funny at the time when I was trying to figure out how I was going to get home). It all worked out.

The best part of my job is the number of smiles I see every day. Seriously, I probably see over a hundred smiles when I'm at the school, between the staff and students. I know that I'm in the blissful ignorance part of my job.  The part where everything is just perfect. I am trying to keep it that way. Taking advice when I can, but doing my best to make judgments for myself. I know once, I start seeing things in a different light, it's going to be harder to remind myself why this job is so great.

So for now, I am burning the good moments into my head.

Working on puzzles, the kids telling jokes, dancing, smiles, high fives, playing games, teaching new skills, being greeted by the kids that don't normally talk.

It's not perfect, nothing in life is, but it's good. It feels right. I am supposed to be here for now.

:)

Just in case you were curious:

No matter how many times you move, it's always a very difficult process. I've moved almost 20 times in the last five years. Five Cross Country Moves (Two to the north east and then of course to California and Back). I've even moved out of the country. I am not much better at moving now than I was when I first started. However, I am much better at packing and identifying junk vs necessities. (This isn't to say that I always throw the junk away, but over time I've eliminated more and more junk before each move).

Anyway, on this last move I packed the Fit, which my brother lovingly calls the Pocket Rocket, to the brim. Every inch of my car was filled to the brim with stuff. Here are the stats from my move:

Miles traveled - 1,047
Friends visited along the way -5
Amount spent in Gas - $80(ish)
Amount spent in Tolls - $29.70
Amount spent for road food - $127 (ish) - I should've stuck to the fifteen dollar a day budget for food.
Amount spent moving into a new apartment - $488(deposit)+$525(first month)
Amount spent on new furniture - 1,200+ (My mom picked up that tab thankfully, happy birthday and Merry Christmas to me).

Here are some tips that I came up with while I drove all that way by myself.
Before you move:
    
Make sure you have enough money for housing, changing your plates, id and insurance.
Also for gas and food duh.
Get rid of stuff you don't need, Sell it also sell anything that you can buy cheap or close to cheap because it will save you space to bring the more irreplaceable things.
Plan your trip (try and see friends and such)
Investigate your new city on the internet figure out where the places to go are, find volunteer groups, etc.
It helps to join Meetup.com for your new city before you go so you can have things to do when
you get there.
Network the heck out of your area, talk to your friends, tell everyone you know where you'removing (unless you're trying to get away from them of course). They probably know someone who knows someone or visited there once or can give you some kind of tip. You'll be surprised
by some of the connections you have, especially with all of the social networking.
If you're looking to moving up to the Northeast check out the EZpass system for your new state, it's sometimes better to order it before you go. It will save you time especially on the New Jersey Turnpike and traveling through NYC.
Make a good RoadTrip Playlist, or get books on tape especially if you drive by yourself. Otherwise you may end up talking to yourself for 12 hours.
Obviously, make sure your vehicle is safe for travel (enough air pressure, oil changed, good brakes, etc).

During your trip:
Make sure whatever you need for travel is easily accessible, pack snacks before you go (steal them from your parents if you're able, you'll save time and money).
Stay Hydrated and try to eat as healthy as you can (road food is so bad for you).
Lock your vehicle.
Stay with friends (this is a double bonus, you get to see friends and you don't have to pay for hotels).
Plan your stops, it will save you time, and it may help to avoid traffic.
DO NOT TRAVEL THROUGH NYC if you can help it. I've made this mistake several times it's taken me as long as an hour and a half to get from one side of the city to the other (on the interstate). The George Washington Bridge is awful. My friend told me later I should've taken the Tapenzee Bridge. Avoid the GW Bridge at all costs.
Also Virgina is a suck state. I hate it, this is a personal dislike but avoid Virginia too, if you can help it. Have some really good music planned for Virginia. You're whole trip, but VA especially.  

Once you arrive:
Community Map - AmeriCorps taught me this, basically it's just figuring out hot spots learning where things are, finding events, just try and explore your new city sooner rather than later, it will make you feel at home.
If you use CraigsList for anything - Always get the person's first and last name and google search them. Don't fall for scams. Don't send money in exchange for an item. The person needs to meet you in person, also don't accept checks from people who want you to cash it for more than the amount of the item and then send them a portion of the money. You're just going to get screwed.
Socialize early on, it will help you make friends quickly. Force yourself to talk to people if you don't normally do it. It is much easier to acclimate if you feel like you know people. Talk to your neighbors, the check out guy/girl at the grocery store, your new roommates, people at work, be friendly. They will also be able to give you advice for where to go and what to do, and neighborhood tips and tricks.

Bottom line is research is your best friend. Learn as much about your new city before you move it will help you in the long run. Keep a map in your car even if you have a gps. (Don't be afraid to ask for directions).

Also be safe, duh! Don't do anything that your kindergarten teacher told you not to, she/he's a usually a good source of information.

Looking for a place to hang my hat.

Life has done it again, it has handed me a deliciously sweet glass of ice cold lemonade. If you remember last year, I was offered an opportunity to join AmeriCorps NCCC. This year life has offered me a different opportunity, and my adventures as a vagabond are coming to an end. I am about to start a new chapter in my life. One where my drivers license will actually reflect where I live. I'm moving to Boston, Ma, more specifically somewhere near the Watertown/Waltham/Belmont area. The reason: I got a job! I'll be working in a residential facility for kids with disabilities. I will be assisting them with their day to day activities. It's as glamorous as it sounds, not at all. But it will be awesome for a few reasons: 1. I love kids, I love working with kids, I love helping kids. 2. There are plenty of opportunities for both personal and professional growth. 3. I get to live and work 9.8 miles away (or less depending on where I move to) from my favorite city in the entire world. I am unbelievably excited about this new adventure. It is one that I never really expected, but I am especially grateful for it.

I leave on Thursday at 5:30 am and am driving 1,047 miles north to my new home. I have one more day to pack and get my stuff together before I depart. I am still taking tips for living in the north.

I will still continue to write, I like chronicling my life. I just won't be discussing life in Podunk, Ga again. Perhaps, ever again. I'll miss my dad, but how could I say no to this?

Adventures in the Northeast organized by region. August 14-21, 2010

This past week, I continued my vagabond lifestyle by traveling the Northeast and staying with friends, and strangers. The experience was refreshing and potentially beneficial to my employment, it was also expensive and I have been reminded to review my Dave Ramsey books. I'm awful with money and probably spent a months paycheck at a regular job to complete my journey. I have been reminding myself and my mother of the YOLO way. You Only Live Once. Anyway, I'm wasting daylight so let's get started:


The Rochester Bike Kids: August 14-15
     I arrived at LaGuardia Airport rented a car, and tried to convince the attractive associate that even though I was under 25, I was only a month away and have proven myself a competent and safe driver in my previous rental experience. Enterprise and that guy was a stickler for the rules, or perhaps I should've opted for a low-cut blouse, some make up and a good bra. Unfortunately, I'm quite positive that even a false promise of promiscuity wouldn't have swayed this guy, so I loaded the White Nissan Versa with my oversized traveling bag and hit the road. I dropped off my Broseph in Brooklyn to begin his adventures exploring NYC, and I traveled north to Rochester. I arrived at my friend Laura's house and was greeted with southern hospitality, which was confusing because that is something that eludes some northern folks. I was offered a brew and some conversation. Her mom had just returned from her own adventures in New Orleans. Laura and I walked to Lake Ontario, which was the first of the great lakes I've ever been to. (Now, I'll have to collect them all). It was beautiful, and I kind of regretted not having more time in upstate New York. Laura and I continued our adventure's to Nate's house, from there we road bikes into the town to check out a bar. My exhaustion combined with my nervousness on a bike lead me to worry about being hit. But I was in luck, I was in the hands of the Rochester Bike Kids. There skill and my peddling as fast as I could to keep up prevented me from harm. We checked out a local bar with a band playing on the outside patio and cheap PBR's. It was great meeting Laura and Nate's friends, and hanging with locals. In fact, I think that possibly my favorite part of the overall experience was being shown my friends favorite places to go. Eventually, we made it back to Nate's place and crashed there for the night. I'm still a little unsure of how I carried a bike up the stairs without ruining anything, (considering I'm a klutz and once busted my knee open walking out my mom's backdoor). After sleeping in, and finally adjusting my internal clock to east coast time, we headed to a local diner that Nate and Laura had been interested in trying. I had the "Hotlanta" which was an egg scramble that was spicier than some Cajun foods.

Overall, I really enjoyed Rochester, it's small enough that you can easily manage driving around by bike and it isn't full of people. Also, driving in Rochester isn't as frustrating as driving in Brooklyn. The people were friendly, and there seems to be just enough to do to stay consistently busy, and it's not too far from some cool sites when you feel the need to escape. I probably wouldn't go looking for a job there but if I was transferred, I don't think I would mind it.

Western Taxachusetts (Northampton, Amherst and Surrounding Areas): August 15-17
    After saying goodbye to Nate, Laura and I headed to Amherst to hang out with Ian (from Blue 4). Our first night we hung out with Ian's friends and former roommates, and played Taboo. The boys dominated, unfortunately. It was cool to hang out and eat delicious food. I also ate my first White Hot which are hot dogs only found in Rochester. It was probably one of the best hot dogs I'd ever had. the next day Ian showed me and Laura around Amherst and Northampton. We learned about his college, walked the streets and checked out a pretty cool record store. We ate delicious jambalaya made with fresh seafood. It was awesome! Hung out at a local bar and Laura and Ian played pool with Ian's friends from Camp.  (His camp is very different from the camps I experienced. It's very progressive and instead of rules they have guidelines. They also don't wake up until like 11. Which is weird, just sayin'). On the 17th we woke up and went for breakfast and I took off to check out Waltham, Ma before my first ever couchsurfing experience.

Western Mass, is really cool and similar to Rochester with the small town feel it has, everything is relatively close together and it having so many nearby colleges is definitely a plus. There is always something to do in college towns. You just have to know where to look. It's really pretty up there and it was great to see Ian in his element.

Waltham, Ma and Couchsurfing in Greenville, NH: August 17-18
    Waltham is a cute town that is 9.8 miles from the center of Boston, Ma my favorite city in the world. I drove around and found the location for my interview and I wanted to check out the town more but I had brought the wrong pair of interview pants on my trip, and unfortunately had to by a new pair. I did refrain from refreshing my wardrobe. Reminding myself that I have enough clothes to outfit an entire village. I headed up north to Greenville, NH and hung out with my couchsurfing host. I had heard of couch surfing before and was interested in trying the experience out. This trip gave me a push because I didn’t have anywhere to stay near my interview site. My host, Alexa, showed me around her town. I learned about this artist retreat site. Where people live in these cabins for a number of months and develop their skills. It sounds like an awesome experience although I’m not sure if I qualify. She’s a really cool person, and I’m happy to have been connected to her.

            The next day I interviewed in Waltham which was more or less an explanation of the job and questioning on if I think I’d be able to handle it. The job seems very rewarding and I hope that I’m afforded the opportunity. Unfortunately, I’m still waiting to hear back. I did however receive a second interview. I had plans to leave for Annapolis so I left directly from my interview and drove 8 hours south to Maryland to hang out with Blue 4’s Meghan.

Karaoke in Naptown (Annapolis, MD): August 18-19

     I arrived at Meghan’s house to be greeted by potential buyers. I hope that I didn’t scare them out of the sale. The realtor didn’t look too happy about my comments on the house. Meghan returned from her errands and we headed out for delicious sushi. After Sushi we headed to Ram’s head followed by Stan and Joe’s for some Karaoke. I massacred Michael Jackson’s “I’m Bad,” it’s true I really was bad. I could make William Hung look like Ricky Martin. I will not let my dreams of being on American Idol be dashed. With some practice, I’m sure I can improve my stage presence; my singing however is beyond help. It was great to catch up with Meghan and finally get to see her and the Wolfman in action (singing Karaoke that is). 

I had been to Annapolis prior to this, but I enjoyed the hotspots Meghan had spent the year talking about.

Back to Waltham and then on to Brooklyn: August 19-21

      I spent most of the 19^th driving and trying to find a place to stay for the night. On the 20^th I went for my second interview, I felt confident and I hope to hear back soon. If it’s meant to be it will be and if it’s not I will hopefully find another opportunity. I’m trying to remain positive, as the process of looking for a job seems to put a dent in my happiness. I enjoyed lunch in Waltham, Ma and felt like I could be content to live there, which was very important to me. Then I traveled to LaGuardia to drop of the car. I tried again to reduce my under 25 fee. These people at Enterprise are not to be swayed on these fees. It’s unfortunate. I will probably continue to rent from them because in spite of the stupid fee. They still have lower prices and generally offer excellent customer service. They also put up with my jokes and my frustrations. I hung out with Rowdy Ron from Blue 5 in Queens. He expertly navigated to the Enterprise office. We had dinner and caught up. I appreciated the familiar face and conversation after being so frustrated by the roadblocks.

     On the final day of my adventure, my brother, his friend Andrea and I wandered Brooklyn before Broseph and I headed back south to Atlanta. I am not a fan of NYC or it’s surrounding suburbs. It’s just not my scene. I can’t see myself living there, which is unfortunate because I usually feel like I can adapt anywhere. I was happy to leave NYC but I can’t say the same for the rest of the Northeast. I hope to head back soon, pending this job offer of course.

Overall the experience was worthwhile. I enjoyed seeing friends, and parts of the Northeast I’d never seen before. 

The long road home

I am currently sitting at the same table in the same chair at the same Borders where I first found out that I was accepted to AmeriCorps National Civilian Community Corps. It feels awful. I am almost in tears as I look back on this year and feel empty. It's not as though I feel that this experience was a waste of my time. Quite the contrary, it was amazing. I was surrounded by people with the same drive for service that I have, I was able to help people, and I gained a plethora of skills that I am able to use on my resume. I'm empty because I miss the people, and I miss the service and the new skills. I'm trying to combat my depression with getting involved in service projects locally, but unfortunately I still need a job. I'm hoping that by becoming involved and volunteering I will be able to make friends and hopefully connections. But for now, I'm empty. I miss being surrounded by 300 other people who I choose to believe have a passion for service.

In Podunk, Ga I have very few friends. I live with my dad, whom is a hermit crab. I sleep on an air mattress, which the air is beginning to leak out of. I spend my days watching reruns of Degrassi: The Next Generation and True Blood (the latter more acceptable TV watching than the former) and applying for jobs, which has yielded little success. The only thing I really have going for me right now, other than my sometimes resilient personality, is that I am starting Grad School. Well, sort of. I'm in a Nonprofit Management Certificate program through American Humanics via LSUS (note the S). I am hoping to matriculate as a graduate student.

So, Life After AmeriCorps has lead me to feeling like my boyfriend whom I was very much in love with has dumped me and left me for a newer younger girlfriend. AmeriCorps NCCC Class XVII will take my place. A new Corps Member will blog periodically about their life traveling the country with nine other people getting things done for America. And I will continue where I left off with my Life in Podunk.

Podunk, feels stale now that I have lived in California. There are no hills with cows happily grazing in the greenest pastures I've ever seen. There are no ocean breezes. There is humidity, southern accents and cable television. While Cable Television doesn't sound so bad. I would never watch another episode of Degrassi if someone would give me a job in California doing something I loved, as long as I was financially stable enough to pay my mountain of bills. (I mean if that's what it took for me to live there, I really like Degrassi).

The point is this year changed my life. I don't know if it was for the better or what but I've come to realize three very important things:

First and Foremost: I am not an Island. (No man is an Island for that matter). I need people in my life. I thrive on being around people and spending this past year hanging out with people who have similar goals was one of the coolest things I could have every been allowed to experience. It allowed me to work harder knowing that I was with people who had similar ideals. Also, when you live in a house with 9 other people, you're never alone. Which at the time I thought wasn't the best thing, but now that it's over I'm happy they were right there with me. Furthermore, I sincerely doubt that I will ever have the same amount of camaraderie that I had in AmeriCorps NCCC.

Secondly: I am in love with the West Coast. I know this doesn't sound like a really big or important thing. But when I was fantasizing about being in NCCC, the Pacific Region was actually on the bottom of my list. I didn't want to live in California. I didn't think that it sounded all that great and I was wildly in love with the idea of one day moving to Boston. Now, after spending some time in California, it's hard to believe that I had no desire to go there. Which is really a two for one kind of lesson. The first being I now have a place where I want to end up and full intentions on moving out that way. Second, you can never know until you try. I shouldn't have shunned California without first checking it out. I hope that I will keep that in mind as I move forward in life.

Finally, and quite possibly the most important thing I learned this year: I have become a fool for service. I feel empty when I'm not working and helping others. I want to be able to continue my passion for service, by volunteering. I have made it a personal goal to obtain the lifetime volunteer service award. I also still intend to complete my life long goal of a leap year of service, (366 days worth of Volunteer work, 8,784 hours). I will greedily use the 1700 hours that I gained this year as part of that. I am excited to volunteer with KaBOOM! on the 11th of September and getting involved in the community here in Podunk. Before volunteering was something I enjoyed doing, now it has become something I don't feel full without doing.

In conclusion, although I currently feel empty. I CAN imagine what my life would have been like had I not completed my AmeriYear. I couldn't have made a better choice for myself, even if the experience wasn't always the most glamorous, it was completely and totally worth it!
So, now I guess that my life has come full circle it is time to explore new avenues and start my next adventure. I just have to figure out what it is first.

And the adventure ended

I'm at a Coffee Shop in Lake Wales, it's 8:35 and they close in 25 minutes. My final reflection about my time in AmeriCorps National Civilian Community Corps is forthcoming, but probably not until later this week. The guy at the coffee shop is starting to give me funny looks, like I'm detaining him from making it to his date to meet the girl he's been chatting with online, or something. Anyway, being home after AmeriCorps sucks. I'll talk more about that in my reflection piece. I'm gonna jump ahead to the future. I'm applying for jobs, it's hard. I have my heart set on working for a nonprofit but I fear that I will get desperate and apply for jobs that I'll hate. I really want to work for KaBOOM!, so much so, that I've taken to applying to pretty much everything for which I feel qualified. Hopefully, they'll hire me.

The guy is starting to give me really awful glares now. Maybe I have a booger hanging out of my nose, no that's not it.

I really should get out of here. I have to go back to my mom's house and pack and go through all of my belongings and get rid of the things I'll never use/wear, as well as things that I should've thrown away years ago, but couldn't manage to part with. I mean who really needs receipts from 2004 anymore.

Oh also, my mom got me a Honda FIT as an NCCC graduation/I feel bad because I helped your bro out and didn't want you to think I don't love you as much present. I tell everyone that it's because I graduated from NCCC though. It's awesome, I could practically live in it, and might have to if I can't find a job. Yikes!

Okay coffee guy, I'm out see you next time.

Sara

Reflection Round 4: 6 days with Saint Bernard Project.

So, my year is coming to a close. Blue 4 finished it’s final round with Saint Bernard Project (SBP). In my 6 days with SBP, I worked at a Care Fair, mowed lawns, ran errands and led volunteers to unpack lumber and supplies from moving trucks. Each day was a different experience, but overall I didn’t have enough time with them to declare this project as my favorite. I do however respect the organization immensely. Since the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina ravaged Saint Bernard Parish, Saint Bernard Project has rebuilt 291 homes, and 33 in 2010 alone. It’s amazing how much they’ve accomplished in such a little time. There is still a lot to do, lots are still empty; homes still stand damaged and tattered from the high water levels that swept through and washed away the lives and livelihoods of the Parish residents. Interest in New Orleans has waned as other disasters have taken precedence. The New Horizon rig has just been capped after almost 3 months of spewing oil into the Gulf of Mexico. Once again affecting a community that has not finished recovering from its last disaster.

I cannot sit here and write about how much I love New Orleans, as that is simply not true. I didn’t fall in love with this city, but its people did find a place in my heart. Never have I met friendlier people. Within an hour of arriving in the city my team and I were greeted with free food and smiles and hellos from everyone who passed us by. We were endlessly thanked for our efforts before we even had a chance to start working. My friends and I were offered rides home when we walked the streets late at night. I was given bug spray from a complete stranger and he even helped me and my friend Val chop down a jungle that had grown around what was once someone’s home. The people of New Orleans have a lot of pride for their city, its culture and history.

It has become important to me that New Orleans and its people are not forgotten. Rebuilding efforts should continue, even after AmeriCorps National Civilian Community Corps pulls three of its five regions from the gulf. Even after BP bought out the cities most important volunteer housing camp to host paid employees, leaving volunteer groups stranded at the last minute searching for a place to stay. I hope that this city and its people are never forgotten.

Disaster Relief Reflection

Music City will forever hold a place in my heart. This experience made my year; this will be what I bring up when talk about AmeriCorps NCCC. I will tell people about crawling underneath crawl spaces removing ductwork still wet from a flood that happened two months prior. I will talk of families endlessly thanking my teammates and I for our efforts. I will smile brightly as I recall being covered head to toe in what I like to think of as mud, although knowing it may have been more than that. I will tear slightly as I remember the homeowners telling me their stories of how they lost nearly everything to the rain. I will remember their resilience, their hospitality and their appreciation for our work. This was what I signed up for. This experience reminded me of why I wanted to be in AmeriCorps NCCC; I wanted to help people and I wanted to make a difference. I am proud to say that I was able to accomplish that.

My life in Tennessee

I've been mucking and gutting houses, in Nashville, Tennessee. This city is beautiful and has a lot more to offer than I had initially expected. I've enjoyed my time here and the work especially. I am sad to leave knowing there is so much more work to be done. I never realized how much I would enjoy physical labor until I was able to spend time doing it. I wouldn't mind doing it for longer however, I know that I have different goals that I'd like to accomplish.

I am currently working on my teams video debrief and I am hoping to post it to YouTube and to this blog if the file isn't too large. Copies will also be available for distribution after it is completed. You just have to contact me for one.

Anyway, life goes on. In other news, I will be flying to Maryland on Friday to spend the weekend. I'm excited for the adventure.

Sara

Blue Tenn in Tennessee

I did in fact get sent to Tennessee, thankfully. It would be a cruel joke if the universe didn't let me go. Fortunately, I did something right in my life and now I'm here. Although, I was getting used to the idea of hanging out in New Orleans until the end of NCCC. I had made friends with a team from Maryland, Raven 4 they're awesome.

Anyway, in Tennessee the composite team and I are mucking and gutting houses in Nashville. We have met a lot of really nice home owners, and people in general. We work long hours and the work is physical, but good. I spend most of the day covered in mud and fiber glass grinning from ear to ear. I'm happy to be here and I'm happy to be able to do this work. We are scheduled to be here until July 3rd but it could be earlier or it could be later. There is no telling. It would be nice to be sent back early in order to hang out with Raven 4 some more, but I really love the work we're doing so if I can't get sit back early, I'd rather stay until the end of the year. Either way. I feel like the work that I've had this year was worth all the other stuff. I wanted an education project and I practically had 3. I wanted to build houses and I was able to do that too. I didn't want trail building and I some how managed to avoid it. I really wanted disaster and I'm in Tennessee. I don't know if it could've been more perfect. I mean obviously it could always be better, but it could've been worst as well. And I'm happy with the way things have turned out. I'm excited to continue the work we're doing here.

I still have no idea what I'm doing next year, but hopefully I'll figure something out eventually.

Life in the Parish

So, I'm hanging out at PJ's Coffee shop right now and it feels like last September all over again. Except for the fact, I had to walk to get here, and then back because I forgot my wallet and then back again. I love the feel of sitting in a coffee shop and having the opportunity to just hang out. Maybe, I'm strange. Although probably not really lots of people love coffee shops. I'm still unsure of what I'm going to do at the end of July when my Ameri-Life is up. Most likely, I'll be back in Georgia, but I'm applying to jobs all over the country. Some are AmeriCorps positions but not NCCC. NCCC was fun, but it's a one and done kind of deal for me. I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. It's hard living and working with a team of people, but I love it still. I love the work the work is what makes it worth it. I get to serve people, it's amazing and wonderful and well I'm not selfless so I can freely admit that it makes me feel and look really good, both in real life and on paper. (It doesn't make me feel anything on paper, obvi).

We started work with the St. Bernard Project. Which is an amazing organization that is helping to rebuild St. Bernard Parish. You should check out their website and learn all about them as they are totally worth it. Also, if you ever want to have a really awesome Volunteer vacation they still need help because the Parish will not rebuild itself. Plus, NOLA is a great place to visit and you can do it for pretty cheap. They take individuals and groups.
http://www.stbernardproject.org

Also, if you want to donate some money you can text NOLA @ 50555 and donate $5. It's painless and will do good for a family.

Anyway, I still don't know about Tennessee, I probably won't know anything until Tuesday or something. It's the life of a corps member they don't just tell you about patience and flexibility they make you practice, a lot!

I'm off to enjoy life,
Sara

Nothing is Absolute

If AmeriCorps has taught me one thing this year it has taught me that nothing is certain. There are no guarantees. It is what it is, and we as people have the choice to roll with it, or wallow in self-pity. In my life time, there are times when I wallow, there are times when I go with it, and there are times when I do a little of both. I know that I love big, fast and strong, and I love with my whole heart. I have trouble holding back. Sometimes it leads to pain, sometimes it leads to new love, and sometimes it leads to great adventures. Although this style of being has sometimes ended in tears, I have gone through enough to know that there is always a lesson, there is always a value and there is always something good to come of it. It's the figuring out part that sucks the most it's those times when you question what you did wrong or could have done better. It's the uncertainty it's the what if. In the end, whatever the situation, I have always managed to come out alive and for the most part better. And I have no other choice but to continue that way of life.

I'm just happy that I always have a back up plan.

Glimpse

Subtlety is not my forte. I have trouble holding things back. I know that. I’ve been trying to not let on too much, as of late. I hope that this will be enough to give you a glimpse into my life right now, without saying too much:

I need mountains in my life as often as possible.

I’m fueled with a new creative streak that I was lacking a month ago.

It could be the humidity; it’s probably not.

Sweet Tea and porch swings have been reintroduced into my life as something that is necessary for survival.

Nothing is absolute.

An Ameri-Update

There are 69 days left of AmeriCorps. Grandmother Pens always told me not to count today because it's already happened. Which means I have 69 days to figure out what exactly it is that I'm going to do next. I have a plan and a back up plan, and a back up plan for the back up plan. I'm kind of a planner. I don't like feeling lost and unsure. I enjoyed this adventure, but I'm happy to finally have an end in sight. Our final round projects have been revealed and I will be living four miles away working with St. Bernard Project, re-building houses for people who lost their homes in the floods of Katrina. It will be nice to learn new skills and be building houses again. I have really enjoyed this project and I'm sad that I won't be able to finish out the year with RSD. It would have been the best project to end on. Fortunately, St. Bernard Project is an Ameri-favourite so I'm not really missing out too much.

I don't really know what else to say other than: I'm kind of hoping that we have a composite team offered up for round 4. If not I will be happy to finish out the year with my team, if so I will be happy to apply to work on disaster relief. I really wanted to do some disaster relief this year. Although, I didn't really want to wish for disasters. But they have happened so the possibility for a composite team is more likely now than it was before the flood in TN, the tornadoes in Arkansas and the oil spill in the gulf.

In the end, I'm happy to be able to work and do good regardless of what it is. I'm excited to finish out this program and return to a somewhat normal life.... although I doubt that I'll have a "normal" job for a year or so. I am kind of planning on doing something different and that I won't be able to do once I am a fully fledged adult. Basically, I want another year or two without a career. I'm hoping my plans work out. I'm praying they will.

Mountains are my muse.

This weekend I went on an adventure to Robbinsville, North Carolina. It’s a small town in Graham County in the midst of the Smokey Mountains. I’ve not seen a place this beautiful since I was last in Mecca, California. Both of these places evoke a special kind of heart palpitation, that drives my creativity and I switch between pen and pencil with new ideas. I think it’s interesting that, me a self-proclaimed suburbanite can find such contentment in places that are comparatively remote. There is something about mountains that move me in a way that I can’t explain. Perhaps because I grew up at sea level I’m in awe of being so high. Or maybe it’s because there are very few natural elements that can compare to the magnitude of mountains. Thinking back to it, what I loved most about Scotland was the luscious rolling hills, and the hairy coos.

Like Mecca, in Robbinsville no one seems to be in a hurry to get anywhere. People seem content to just hang out and chat and enjoy each other’s company. Unlike the city or even suburbia where the overwhelming need to go pushes you forward, quick and hurried and self absorbed. I enjoyed feeling like people were genuinely interested in what I do, and where I came from. I mean in a sense I’m a foreigner in those parts. I’m new and different. Of course people want to know what this outsider is doing. It still felt nice to be around people who seemed interested. Sometimes, I feel that the people I left behind are more absorbed by their own life. Rightfully so, I guess.

It was surreal to go to a place where the closest Wal-Mart was about an hour a way. I enjoyed the isolation, and frankly I didn’t feel isolated, as I wasn’t alone on my adventure. I met a lot of interesting and really intelligent people. It was a nice change of pace to just listen to people for a while; to just hang out and think about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. There is possibly more to say, but I’m still not at the point where I want to write about it. I will say that this past weekend has inspired me to want to write and draw and create. I'm hoping to run with my creativity and put it to good use.

Getting things done for the Recovery School District.

This past week my team and I have been working at different schools throughout the recovery school district here in New Orleans. Here’s a recap.

Tuesday

We worked at George Washington Carver Elementary and went on a field trip to the wetlands. It was really great getting to work directly with students. They were funny, intelligent and a bunch of them are characters. Before going to the wetlands we met the principal of Carver. She is an inspiration, from the stories I’ve heard she has really turned the school around. She talks with children individually and gives them her attention she knows most of their names and seems to genuinely care. She showed us around the classrooms and had the kids recite poems for us.

At the wetlands we planted native species and transplanted some more to help restore them. We worked with an organization called Bayou Rebirth. The kids had a great time and jumped into the water. They seemed excited to be able to leave the classroom for the day.

Wednesday

In the morning we went to Second Harvest, which is a food distribution center. We prepared food boxes to help families in areas affected by the oil spill. It was cool to be able to do something with tangible results. We worked with some members of Blue 6, they’re really great and it was nice to be able to work with different people.

In the afternoon, we went to John MacDonogh high school to start bleacher removal. Troy our site supervisor was able to get a company to donate a new gym floor. For the majority of our first day we tried to figure out what we was needed to be done. We didn’t have instructions and had to figure out the best way to remove them. Obviously, it’s not the most complicated thing in the world, but we did learn that we had to work from the bottom up instead of the top back.

Thursday

We continued bleacher removal in the morning and in the afternoon we went to Fannie C. Williams elementary school to help with a field day. I helped with the face-painting booth. I probably unknowingly painted gang signs on some kids. It’s hard to think that kids that young already know about that stuff. That they are aware of how real it is. I refused to paint teardrops under one kids eye. I did paint a number of black and gold fleur de lis. I didn’t even know how to draw one until that afternoon. It was kind of crazy. It was cool to see the kids get a chance to do something fun at school. They all seemed to enjoy it. Our unit leader was also around for our mid-site visit. My team leader knows where we’re going but can’t tell us yet. I’m hoping to know soon. I’m going to call it now and say that it’s likely we’re going to Baton Rouge. But I won’t know for sure until she says so herself. I might apply for a composite team for fourth round. It depends on what the project is, and if I can find out about the application process.

Friday and Saturday

We worked on Bleacher removal both Friday and Saturday. Our quickest removal was 2 hours and 10 minutes. I was sick Friday and Saturday so I went to the doctor and they gave me two shots. One shot was Cortisone and I don’t know what the other is. I’m kind of concerned that they didn’t tell me. Troy thinks it was B-12. I felt really well yesterday but today I feel worst. I’ve never heard of getting shots for a head cold.

This weekend, I’m not doing much of anything but next weekend I’m heading out of town. I’m excited to go on an adventure of a different sort. It should be a mix between relaxing get away, fun filled weekend, and finding a job and apartment. I’m hoping to figure out some sort of plan for my next step in the next couple of months, seeing as I don’t have much of a choice. In the meantime I’m going to make the best of what I have, because what I have is pretty wonderful.